Five Weird Things: Mississippi State

The Aggies escaped the Hogs. It didn’t go as I predicted it would, but we should all be pretty proud that the Aggies dug deep and pulled it off. We took our day and enjoyed the win, now it’s time to move on. To Mississippi State. Here are 5 weird things about Mississippi, Mississippi State, and their football team.

5. The Battle For Jackie’s Affection

This game is now the annual contest to determine which SEC team the great Jackie Sherril loves the most. Upon completion, the old coach will don the hat of the winning team, and proceed to write the victorious head coach weekly with his ringing endorsement of the program’s direction. Say what you will about the man after the Ice Bowl, but he’s the only coach with the guts to have his team watch a bull castration (That’s a link to an article, not a video of bull castration. I promise. This time.) as motivation to beat the Longhorns. It worked, too.

4. WATCH YOUR F#$*ING MOUTH

According to this website I found (This will be a weekly feature, just get used to dumblaws.com), one can be fined up to $100 for using "profane language" in public places like, I don’t know, a football stadium or basketball arena.

This is why every damn Bulldogs fan carries a crisp C-note in their pocket when attending f#$%ing Bulldog games. Why can’t we run the damn f#$@ing ball, y’all? Pull your head out!

3. Spell it

When I was in the 6th grade I was a huge P1 of the local hip-hop and R&B station K104 (The people’s station, ya heard?). Well, Tom Joyner used to run contests for kids to call in during the morning show where the kid would have to spell a word correctly to win a prize, and on one occasion I was the lucky 10th caller. My word? Mississippi. I spelled it correctly, but the hosts had some fun with me because I didn’t spell it EMM EYE CROOKED-LETTER CROOKED-LETTER EYE CROOKED-LETTER CROOKED-LETTER EYE HUMP-BACK HUMP-BACK EYE. Now, 20 years later as an adult, the Sega Genesis game I won is long gone, but I can’t spell Mississippi without saying it that way in my head. You have won, Tom Joyner. Thank you.

2. Aggie on Aggie Crime

Yes, until 1905 the Mississippi State Bulldogs were the Mississippi A&M Aggies, or Maroons, as this is also their school color. Few people know that back in 1905, a certain 4th generation Aggie donor named Marquise Winfield Heldenfels, II was on top of #branding, and forced the former Aggies to get their own damn nickname. The color scheme was defended by the Bulldogs after winning a sporting best 4 out of 7 round of Tiddlywinks.

1. Christopher Walken Reference

Thankfully this game is played in College Station this year. I don’t know what it is about those cowbells, but they’re damn sure annoying as all hell. Bulldog lore suggests that the Cowbell’s introduction dates back to a game against Ole Miss where a Jersey Cow wandered onto the field. If that ain’t country, I’ll kiss your ass. It’s also said that, for a time, students would bring actual cows to the games for good luck until one student realized a quick fix for this problem, and began just bringing the bell.

The cowbells were voted out of the SEC 9-1 in the 1970s, leaving one to wonder who the lone dissenting vote was. The cowbells were allowed back in in 2010, provided that all noise is limited to pregame, timeouts, and halftime. Thank God they all abide by that CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA

BTHO Mississippi State