Five Weird Things: South Carolina

I took to the internet to find some oddities and weird news from the state of South Carolina, so let's just dive right in.

5. That Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Kid Had Better be 18

If you're a fan of the column, you know I love dumblaws.com. Because of this magical website I've been alerted to the fact that you must be at least 18 years old to play pinball in South Carolina. I have this vision of seedy pinball halls littering South Carolina. A boy, about 16, is led to the door by 12 supporters. He flashes an ID, is led in, and he just does the rest. He's got crazy flipper fingers, never seen him fall. Until Tommy McLovin gets arrested by the South Carolina Department of Pinball, ending his feloniously underaged rock opera, and his future.

4. Can You Break a Trillion?

When I want to ball out of control, the first thing I do is head to Applebee's. That's right, Applebee's. The brand is synonymous with taste, class, wealth, and sizzling entrees. One man in South Carolina attempted to out ball them all by paying for his Applebee's lunch with a One Trillion dollar bill. That's right, just casually throwing down 1/18th of the current national debt for a Choose-Any-Two lunch combo and a drink. Clearly this man didn't think his plan through. You can't go for the whole trill, dude. If you trill too early, you end up at TCU.

3. WELCOME, VISITORS!

Does life exist outside of our little blue sphere orbiting around the sun? If so, when will they happen upon us? If they happen upon us, where will they vacation? Well, Jody Pendarvis saw a bit of an untapped market, so he created the UFO Welcome Center in Bowman, South Carolina. The visitors will have no trouble finding the place, as the name is spray painted across the concrete at the building's entrance. Go ahead, gaze upon its splendor. I dare you. Aliens will have the opportunity to sleep, shower, and even enjoy the benefits of air conditioning if they happen to beat the other aliens to the nicer of the two rooms for rent.

2. Roommate Issues

We've all got weird roommate stories. Hell, I lived with a guy who used to only watch MTV's Undressed and wax philosophic about the "magic learning machine" he dreamed would eventually get him out of classes. See, you'd hook it up to your brain and just know everything you needed to know. Like The Matrix. You get it, right? Wouldn't that be great?

That's weird, but the normal kind of weird. Then there's Hayley King. After being asked to move out, Hayley's roommates set up hidden cameras to catch their newly estranged roommate tampering with their food. What they found was young, sweet Hayley spitting in their vittles. King also admitted to lacing her roommates' food with Windex, because she was a huge fan of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

1. The Flag

This is the most chill-bro flag in the history of flags. When you look at this flag, you're immediately compelled to grab a cooler and a lawn chair, kick back, and play some sick tunes to really take the edge off. The only way this flag would scream "I don't give a shit" any louder is if the white palmetto tree was replaced with a cannabis leaf, and the moon was some Revolutionary War era lolcat.

BTHOcocks