Five Weird Things: Ole Miss

We've already done one of these on Mississippi, so let's get out a bigger shovel and find five more odd things. Shall we?

5. The Rebel is a Big Black Bear

That's right, Colonel Reb was retired in 2003 and replaced in 2010 with "Rebel" the big black bear. This technically makes the Alabama vs. Ole Miss game illegal in the state of Alabama. All jokes aside, it's kind of a nice loophole when you can get away with clinging to your confederate roots by just naming a cute animal after it. That's like getting the football team in Washington to adopt the Red Poison Dart Frog as a mascot and just naming it "RedSkin." Oh well, moving on.

4. The Ole Miss Campus Speed Limit is Archie Manning's Jersey Number

Don't even think about going 19 MPH, folks. That's right, your campus speed limit in Oxford is a generous 18 miles per hour. If Johnny pulls himself up by the bootstraps, ditches the current girlfriend, and becomes an NFL superstar, maybe the Texas A&M speed limit will be a feather-the-brakes-dammit-FEATHER-THEM 2 MPH. Gig 'em.

3. Don't Even THINK About Learning Certain Words, or Getting Excited About What These New Words Mean

Like Polygamy. Yes, according to our favorite website DumbLaws, it is illegal in the state of Mississippi to teach others what polygamy is. I think this would render showing TLC's "Sister Wives" an offense punishable by death, if that's not already the case. Additionally, it's illegal for a male to become sexually aroused in public in Mississippi. That situation makes any teenager's refusal to do that equation on the blackboard a matter for the Mississippi State Police.

2. Check the Bowl in the Grove

Now, to be completely fair, this story didn't happen in Oxford, but just to be safe you ought to look before you squat. A Mississippi couple upon returning from their honeymoon discovered a "mysterious animal" in their toilet bowl. I'm not one for spoilers, but that looks like a rat to me. Apparently even experts at the Jackson Zoo were stumped, but I think they said that to get this couple on the news to create taint-bite awareness. To spread this awareness, we're all to wear chainmail briefs for the month of November.

1. Sasquatch

That's not a misprint, Bigfoot may be lurking in Mississippi. In 2014, Peyton Lassiter found a track nearly 9 months after another resident of nearby Vicksburg saw a Bigfoot-like creature in the woods. Watch the video in the linked story and you'll find a man convinced of his findings, and one who will scoff at your assumption that the track was left by an indigenous black bear. See, the hairs were grey, and Mr. Lassiter can't recall seeing "any polar bears in Vicksburg." I was under the impression that Tenacious D had solved the Sasquatch riddle years ago, but perhaps I was wrong.