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Scattershooting - Week 11

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Quit crying and get back on the roller coaster ride, the horrifying beauty of Alabama football, and the love-hate relationship I have with Captain Chaos.

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to LenDale White...

  • That loss Saturday was a turd sandwich. You can’t sugar coat it in any way and there’s no reason to suggest otherwise. Perfectly normal for fans to feel pissed off, defeated, depressed, and sad after a loss like that. My mantra this season has been to Enjoy The Ride. Sometimes the ride is The Tilt-A-Whirl, and the operator is a meth addict and why did I eat that plate of nachos and drink a Budweiser right before getting on this ride? Now I’m throwing up in a trash can while everyone points and laughs. Do you just scream "RIDES ARE SCARY!" and run home? Hell no, you buy a 42 oz Dr. Pepper, a slice of pizza, and get in line for the Twisted Colossus because you can only stay at the fair a few more hours before the offseason begins and all the rides are closed. What the hell am I talking about? I’m not sure. But the point is we have another game this Saturday and this can still be a fun November. E.T.R.
  • I honestly think LSU should look to the NFL for its next head coach. Find a guy that’s only been an NFL head coach for a couple of years with a mediocre record and bring him in. I mean, look how well it’s worked out for Alabama.
  • This week in Crappy-MS-Paint:
  • There was a point Saturday night where I was watching Alabama and it was just beautiful. Scary. Depressing. Enjoyable. I’m ready for this SabanTron3000 version of Alabama to go away. But there are times, just as a football fan, when it’s amazing to see a machine like that in action. It's like watching the Discovery channel and seeing a great white shark explode with amazing power and absolutely annihilate a baby seal.  Now, please retire Nick. You’ve proven enough at this point.
  • You know damn well that Les Miles sat up in his recliner on Saturday night around 10:30 pm and said "Well shit I could have done that!" And then he eat a crayon and told his cat to go wash his car.
  • Looking ahead, there is only one game between ranked teams on Saturday (Baylor at OU), and most of the top ten will be big favorites in their games. Boring weekend right? Hell no. That’s when chaos strikes. And chaos is one of the things that makes this sport so damn enjoyable. (Unless chaos shows up on your own doorstep with a 10 foot tall cowbell and rings it in your face for 4 hours. I mean damn, Captain Chaos, enough with that CLANGA CLANGA noise!!)
  • I really hope LSU decides to keep the Cajun Cookie Monster as the head coach after this year.  When CBS interviewed him before kickoff Saturday night 99% of America said "What the hell happened to the audio, this man sounds like a garbage disposal with a fork stuck in it."