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Daily Bull 7.31.15. Five weeks until footbaw, y'all.

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"Girl I've been a gambler since the age of 21, I've seen my share of troubles and the wrong end of a gun. This whole worlds out to get me just because I have my fun, they ain't gonna slow me anyway..." - Hayes Carll

Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

2015 Sideline Shoes now available!

[KEYTAR SQUEALS] We're five weeks from football, motherscratchers. Let's kick this pig in the dick.

UNRANKED? LET'S GET UNHINGED. The first Coaches' Poll dropped yesterday because why the hell not. It's still July after all, and these egomaniac football sociopaths have nothing better to do. Even better? They usually have some pimple-faced boot-licking SID fill these out. These guys can barely put together an objective assessment of their own teams at this juncture let alone "LSU at No. 13 - I think JaMarcus Russell comes into his own in 2015".

It's all just news cycle fodder and it is imperative that you get enraged and indignant. Coaches and ESiPN have it out for our ol' AGS! The reality is that polls really shouldn't be released until October. But outrage is fun, so marinate on this.

WRTSoftCommit. One of the greats - oscarwildecat - provided a nice update on recruiting. He references a site I don't care to acknowledge and as such will receive demerits. Anyway - 2016-17 crootin? NOT ALL ROSY. Remember when it was UT and OU that did all the damage in this state? Now LSU is poaching like a small-cocked dentist in the Serengeti. Baylor and Purple Baylor have pissed in the punch. COUGAR HIGH is appealing for some reason. Point is - Sumlin and co. have some dogfights on their hands in the coming months. Some big time wins at the Barn sure would be useful.

OH HELL YES A DB. Sure sign that I've become a spoiled brat with the A&M offense: I am almost disappointed when I see a YESSIR tweet and it turns out to be another wide receiver. STABLE IS FULL, COACH. GO GET US A D-FENCE. Well good news came yesterday when former 5-star cornerback Priest Willis announced he is transferring from UCLA to Texas A&M. Willis should be good to go in 2016 at a position that is always a "need" - particularly for us. Welcome aboard, Fr. Willis. Communion is served after pick-sixes. Oh, and College Station is just like Pasadena.

HAHA STUPID SIPS. Clay Travis has carved out a nice little pageview cottage industry in his general troll empire. The product? Just exaggerate incredibly improbable hypotheticals that posit the Ags over UT. His recent play? If the Horns were to try to enter the SEC (not happening) then the Ags would have the votes to block the attempt.

See how stupid this has all become? Let Texas do what they want. They're not going to want to join the SEC. Just play the game the way these interstate schools in differing conferences do:

  • Florida - Florida State
  • Georgia - Georgia Tech
  • South Carolina - Clemson
  • Kentucky - Louisville
Alright. Y'all have a dandy weekend. Go do something stupid that Uncle Gards would approve of. xoxo