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BEMUSEMENT WEEK: OLE MISS EDITION

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"In writing, you must kill all your darlings." - William Faulkner

If you've hung around Good Bull Hunting and the SB Nation network of sites over the last 3+ years, you're likely familiar with the Ole Miss site - Red Cup Rebellion - and their HATE WEEK feature. Here's what they've churned out over the years on Texas A&M:

It's the usual digs and jokes you're well accustomed to if you're an Aggie - OMG the Corps! Johnny did something! They don't have gurl cheerleaders LULZ! It's mostly all in good fun. We like the Red Cup Rebellion guys a lot. We even made a FRIENDSHIP WEEK post just for them a couple years back.

Now, as you may have heard, the Rebels are hurting. It's a story as old as time -- yet again, some entitled Ole Miss kids flush with a little suspect cash went to Memphis to take over the world only to have their asses thoroughly kicked by the locals and sent quickly back to the Narnia that is Oxford. It happens to graduating frat boys, and it happened to Hugh Freeze's fellas on Saturday.

Just as everything was looking hotty toddy in the world after Ole Miss won in Tuscaloosa, the Rebels reverted back to their ways as an also-ran in the Southeastern Conference. Because of some schedule rearranging, this upcoming Saturday will be the third time in four years that Texas A&M travels to Oxford.

In the first two visits, Johnny Manziel stole the show, flipped double freedom rockets at the stuffy Grove crowd, and peeled off into the sunset with a pair of Ws.

Both programs are reeling a bit after some tough losses and are in dire need of a quality win on national TV in prime time.

Now, I've been to a game in Oxford, and it is fantastic. The Grove is incredible, the people are generally nice, and it's a damn privilege we get the opportunity to go there every other year. And the girls are awfully easy on the eyes.

But this post ain't about love. The Red Cup Rebellion commenters are going dish serious hate toward A&M again this week - some clever and hilarious, some dim and a stark reminder of their state's educational system. This Ole Miss disgust is a preemptive piss their silver punch bowl.

Let's get weird.

Think your case of Battered Aggie Syndrome is rough with the drought of conference titles and a lifetime without a national title? Ole Miss hasn't won a conference title since 1963. Hell, the last title they won was before racial integration.

If it weren't for the Mannings and that kid Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw adopted in that movie, you'd have a hard time naming anyone noteworthy that's come out of this football program's history.

You'd never know it talking to Ole Miss folks though. They claim some stupid, folksy slogan that they might lose the game, but they've never lost a party. Homeless grifters know how to party. It takes a special kind of suck to lose at the caliber Ole Miss does.

Where does one get a real job in the state that God forgot? Tupelo? Jackson? Hustling a 3-card Poker table in Biloxi? As Texans, we have to deal with Ole Miss' "bright" kids selling insurance in Dallas and Houston.

Ole Miss loves to compare A&M to the hicks in Starkville. It's lazy and convenient. Problem is, they fail to check any university rankings. Ole Miss takes all the slack-jawed coke heads from Highland Park and Memorial who were too dumb to go to UT or A&M, too proud to go to Lubbock, and puts them in top fraternities.

You'd be hard-pressed to find more misplaced entitlement and snobbery than Ole Miss fans. They're the flagship university in a state that takes dead last in every embarrassing category you can imagine. If you ever meet a Rebel in a social setting buckle up - they'll shoehorn in a name-drop of William Faulkner before getting blind drunk on Maker's Mark and retiring to the powder room for a key bump of bad blow. Truth is, the only reading the average Ole Miss fan has ever done was watching a John Grisham book get turned into a movie.

Ask TCU fans if they're familiar with A Time to Kill.

Beat the hell outta Ole Miss.