[FACE MELTING GUITAR LICK SQUEALS] Oh man. This Saturday is going to be a gem. So many solid match ups that will serve as a litmus test for teams. Think of a Saturday in early August. The HEAT. The soccer or whatever the hell else is on. F-ING HELL. So slow and terrible. Well, gang, it's October and we have some serious SEC football on the docket.
SUMLIN, JOHNNY, AND... RICK ROSS. Why the hell not? Apparently the three of them hung out recently. Our coach is a damn BOSS.
MEANWHILE, CELEBRITY CORE VALUES STRONGHORNS. It might send a mixed message if after kicking a bunch of bong-loving broskis off your team you invite Matthew McConaughey to impart some wisdom to the squad. You just gotta keep livin', Horns. L-I-V-I-N.
[/promptly loses at home to Baylor by three touchdowns]
GIMME BACK... GIMME BACK MY BULLETS. The cannon is returning to Kyle Field. I was a student during the Fran days and we had real things to worry about like would our boys score a touchdown to merit a cannon firing? Now we have an offense that likes hanging half a hundred on folks. BOOM.
ADVANCED STATS FOR POINDEXTERS. Bill Connelly is a damn whiz and churns out highly analytical content at insane speed. Here he digs deep on how the SEC West might shake out and holy hell - CLANGA.
POSITIVITY. Look, we all prefer the Ags play their games in prime time. However, I think there are some good things about having the early game only like once per season.
- Going straight from ESPN College Gameday into your matchup is a deluxe adrenaline rush
- Having the early game on the ROAD makes the trip feel like BUSINESS
- If you WIN the early game, you get to bask in the highlights for the rest of the day as you watch other games
- You know that ANGST from having to wait all day Saturday for the Ags' big game? It can be rough.
- Post-game tailgates are wildly underrated. Tailgating from 3-11 PM AFTER a win is pretty damn blissful.