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Daily Bull 05.04.16

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Haikus are perfect because they are as complex and interesting as these topics.

Araya Diaz/Getty Images

Haikus. They are so simple a child can understand them. They are done so much that there is really very little that is interesting about them. Yet we still read them and create our own because there is nothing else to do. They are the perfect metaphor for off-season bullshit, and at the same time the perfect vehicle for it.

A tribute to the nonsense that we have all agreed is worth talking about if it helps us get to opening kickoff:

SATELLITE CAMPS

here are my two cents
because they are not in space
satellite camps suck

Congress wisely spends
their time on satellite camps
["This is fine." meme dog]
THE BIG XII

Aggies and Longhorns
A budding new rivalry
Per local paper

if you want to have
better chance at the playoff
add more fucking teams

You like expansion?
Perpetual expansion
Expanding, Big 12

I yell assault jokes
at Baylor till I can't speak
I'm moral high hoarse

OLE MISS & LAREMY TUNSIL

Tunsil smoked some weed
You should try it sometime too
Instead of tweeting

his dreams now dead as
an aspiring filmmaker
Laremy Tunsil

you probably think
Ole Miss will get in trouble
because you are dumb
CROOTIN
Everybody knows
the best QB skill to have
Instagram filters

Fully committed
Still takes official visits
Your school now top 5

I tweeted at you
little recruit I adore
please follow me back

here's a sick edit
can I get a follow back?
nevermind you suck

MISCELLANEA

ha ha ha ha ha
did you hear the one about
Muschamp being dumb

an ACC foe
reasonably priced clothing
Belk Bowl we love you

Oh boy, it is time.
Fightin' Texas Aggie Band?
No, Chevron car race.