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Daily Bull 04.05.16 - How To Kill An Off-Season, Volume I

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This is late on purpose so you can read it during lunch and not because I'm irresponsible.

this sport has imagination
this sport has imagination

Basketball is over, like OVER over this time. Football is a vaguely remembered half-dream half-nightmare about winning your child a prize at the fair only to have them kidnapped by your ex-wife's brother. Your friend that can name all of the state capitals alphabetically is excited about MLB opening day.

So what are you to do?

Here is a list in no order of things you can do to pass the time.

- WATCH AGGIE BASEBALL because they are actually very very good so it is extra entertaining to listen to people lose their minds over losing a series to what may turn out to be the best team in the country. The off season is a desert and the desire to fire coaches is our water. Drink lustily.

- WATCH ONE SHINING MOMENT It's terrible and we are holding on to it for no other reason than tradition so it is right up an Aggie's alley. Plus this time it actually features Texas A&M at one point and not as a punching bag.

- START PINING FOR NEXT YEAR because for some reason calling it your "Way Too Early" top 25 list absolves you of all responsibility for the fact that it is in fact entirely too early and no one could possibly know what teams will actually look like 9 months from now and you're a shitty journalist. THEN AGAIN AGGIES IN THE TOP 20 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

VOTE FOR THINGS ONLINE The Dallas Mavericks are voting on fan submitted designs for their new court, and GBH reader Ryan has made it to the final round of voting. He's Design #4.

- SUBTWEET A CROOT dammit Rush

- LEARN HOW TO TALK SHIT IN CRICKET From what I understand, in the 17th over you need to bat multiple back-to-back sixes whilst acting all chuffed like you're the dogs bollocks. Once the bowler is knackered and you've filched the win over the Worthinghamshire side, then you call him a nancy boy and Bob's your uncle!

- WATCH RUSSIAN YOUTUBE because when you see a guy hit people with an SUV, pull a handgun, and brandish a baseball bat only to clearly lose the argument, you understand that Russia and only Russia has realized the full potential of YouTube.

(NSFW if your coworkers speak Russian, I assume)