Daily Bull 04.12.16 - Roommate Needed

ROOMMATE NEEDED: MUST LIKE TO PARTY BUT NOT BE OUT OF CONTROL That crazy rumor about Johnny moving in with Von was just a misunderstanding caused by the fact that Johnny said that exact thing to a TMZ camera that he borrowed. You remember that rule of thumb from college: if you have to borrow a several thousand dollar camera from a TV tabloid in order to explain that you aren't drunk, it's time to go home.

ROOMMATE NEEDED: MUST BE ABLE TO DANCE LIKE ANGELS SING Meanwhile on the other side of the imaginary apartment that they share, Von Miller blew past the judges and ripped into the American people's hearts on the Dancing With The Stars "Disney Night". Prince Charming makes an excellent edge rusher and is likely to go ahead of TE Gaston in Disney Fantasia Football.

AGGIE FOOTBALL PRESENTED BY CENTRUM SILVER Three strange things happened yesterday all at once. 1) Kevin Sumlin actually announced the starting QB rather than having an open competition until moments before kickoff, 2) as a senior, that QB Trevor Knight is positively geriatric by recent Aggie QB comparison, and 3) no one got their feelings hurt and transferred as a result of this announcement. This is gonna be a different year than last year.

STRENGTHS: HAS UPSIDES. WEAKNESSES: HAS SOME DOWNSIDES Sometimes you gotta listen to the experts in order to understand that NFL prospects like Germain Ifedi have some raw talent and great versatility for teams to utilize, but that they need more work in order to become the complete package. The person telling you that is paid many millions of dollars per year for that information.