Daily Bull 09.09.15 - Strength and Conditioning of Schedule

TALMBOUT FOOTBALL Telco is here with a recap of yesterday's A&M press conference. If you use proper technique in panning away the silt, debris, and coachspeak, there's some gold nuggets in them there quotes.

BOTTLE THOSE TEARS AND SAVE THEM FOR THE OFF-SEASON If you are at work, or near children, or possessed with a constitution that causes fainting at the utterance of certain words of ill repute, avert your gaze posthaste! Otherwise, head on over to Roll Bama Roll and see who made the first Meltdown of the season. (Hint: it's the Longhorns and Sun Devils.)

THIS SCHEDULE NEEDS A STRENGTH COACH We don't avoid scheduling our P5 conference traditional rival for nonsensical, vague, whiny reasons about branding and national exposure, you see. The thing is our dance card is just plum full up with quality opponents and we just can't seem to find the right time to play them is all! Enjoy the game against Ball State, a school you can definitely locate without googling I'm sure.

I made a handy graphic for the stooges in suits at A&M & Texas. Anything in red or green is available for scheduling pic.twitter.com/pDtJncCOUl

— James Gardner (@jimmygards) September 8, 2015

Happy Wednesday you lunatics. We'll go fetch ya a Tailgate here shortly.