PLAYS IT TOO SAFE IMO Texas A&M announced yesterday that Kyle Allen will be the starting QB for the season opener against Arizona State in Houston. This marks the first time in years that the Aggies will have a QB start the season without any sort of arrest in the off season shit wait he just drove a school bus into the side of a roller disco.
OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN The Ags also named the captains for the upcoming season. OL fat kids Mike Matthews and Germain Ifedi will be heading up the offensive side of things, sophomore DE Myles Garrett and CB transplant Brandon Williams will be leading the defensive unit, and Sam Moeller will captain the special teams boys.
I AM APPLYING FOR THE POSITION OF ASSISTANT LIFE COACH Brent Z has a timely piece about A&M's Director Of Player Development Mikado Hinson. It's good to know that while the college football world scrambles for stones to throw at another program, A&M acknowledges that off the field character and discipline issues could strike any program at any time and working to prevent that is a tireless job. Thanks for working to keep our guys strong and focused, Mr. Hinson.
LOOK, REV, IF YOU DON'T LIKE EUKANUBA WE CAN SWITCH TO SOMETHING ELSE Turns out that the Beagle Freedom Project is not a prog rock Peanuts tribute band after all. Sure, shut down that research if you must, but you'll be depriving the world of genetically modified maroon Dachshunds.
OH YOU'LL DO WELL HERE Once you know how to properly tame and train Aggies, they can be loyal companions.
Texas A&M honestly has the best fan base in the country!— Tate Martell™ (@TheTateMartell) August 25, 2015