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Daily Bull 1.22.15

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Let’s all take a break from talking about deflated balls.

Choose your weapon.
Choose your weapon.
Tim Fuller-USA TODAY Sports

The GBH braintrust was foolhardy enough to lend me (wait, who?) the keys to the Daily Bull, so I intend to treat this opportunity with the utmost respect and in no way drive it through a storefront window because I was eating a chop house cheddar burger and then flee the scene.

And if the cops ask that’s just oregano in the glove box.

TRADEMARKS: SERIOUS BUSINESS. Well, the buzz this morning is that the Seattle Seahawks are attempting to trademark a number of "#phrases" that identify with their "#brand" including the actual number 12. Lawyer up, Seattle. We've got Sesame Street and the entire Egg Industry on our side.

SO LONG TO THE MAROON AND THE WHIIIIIIIIIIIIITE In case you didn't see Facebook exploding on the horizon, a GBH writer took it upon himself to imagine if A&M swapped uniform colors with our most hated rivals. Having rcb05 is like owning a pit bull: you love him, and that love is made all the more bittersweet by the knowledge that eventually a court will rule that you have to have him euthanized.

GOTTA LIKE OUR ODDS THOUGH The NCAA is currently investigating 20 institutions for academic misconduct, with 18 of those being Division I programs. Although they have not released a list of the institutions under investigation, there are 351 programs currently in Division I so we can say with 94.87% confidence that A&M is not one of them. Add in the assumption that Texas A&M University is infallible and that confidence shoots up to 106.87%. #BRANDING

MOST OF THAT GOES TOWARDS A CONGRESSIONAL RULING ON THE DEFINITION OF A CATCH All of these student-athletes would quit bitchin’ about not getting paid for the multi-billion dollar product they provide if they had any idea how much it costs to purchase a Congressman to make sure they keep not getting paid. Pretty excited about Mark Emmert’s upcoming appearance on House Of Cards, though.

RIP TEXAGS A&M commits Kyler Murray and Damarkus Lodge took an unofficial visit to Austin yesterday, but really nothing of note happe-

WHY DOES FOOTBALL HATE ME.

EVERYONE KNOWS CHEERIOS PAIR WITH BERRY RAIN, PHILISTINE We already knew Jim Harbaugh was a dork. And kinda a jerk. But now we also know that he’s a weirdo. Personally, I’d sooner eat my cereal dry or with Mountain Dew than milk because I don’t like anything that comes from cow wangs.

WE LOVE YOU TOO EZ

REMEMBER KIDS It's Thursday, which means you're less than an hour from the weekend if you don't mind skipping work or are unemployed. Have a good one!