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Let's Write Bob Stoops' Post Game Comments

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We all know what's about to happen to Tennessee, but we also already know what Big Game Bob will have to say about it. Why watch the post game tonight when you can read it right now?

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Winning football games is very important to Bob Stoops.  It is also very important to him that you understand that SEC dominance is a myth and conspiracy generated by media bias, corrupt recruiting practices, and a satellite launch by freemasons in 1997.

This is a very difficult pitch to sell when one plays the entire Big XII for most of the schedule, so Oklahoma craftily scheduled the vaunted Tennessee Volunteers to come to the Gaylord for a friendly tonight.  Despite cruising to acceptable wins against Utah State and Arkansas State, Tennessee is projected to finish well into the bottom half of the SEC this year - but why let actual competitiveness get in the way of a good story?

Let's play a game.  When Bob Stoops sits down behind the microphone after what will (probably) be a resounding victory tonight, he will make it a point to hit on a few key items.  Let's see if we can predict some of the actual things he'll say!

  • "perform against an SEC defense"
  • [Tennessee] "plays tough on the road"
  • "beat an undefeated SEC team"
  • vague allusion to Baylor to make schedule seem tougher (these are strange times we live in)
  • something something strength of schedule something something media
  • "best conference top to bottom" (remember: you only talk about the bottom when you know you're not the top)
  • "dangit"
  • mentions Cotton Bowl without specifically mentioning Alabama

Which ones did we forget?