College football fans all have two things in common: eternal optimism about their stupid team that is stupid, and stubborn pride that forces them to put their spiritual money where their big fat mouth is.
Like it or not, our Ags have been losing lately. It is probable that they will continue to do so a number of times this season. In these dark times we asked our readers to tell us about bad bets they made and the punishment they endured. Any idiot can lose money on a game. It takes a truly committed idiot to lose something vastly more entertaining. Let's laugh at our shared misery.
AGGIES: please tweet me the worst non-monetary bet you have lost due to Aggie football.— Hypno-Toad (@HypnoToad03) October 20, 2014
In truth the answers did not come flooding in quite like I hoped they would. I can only assume that this means one of four things:
- Aggies are exhibiting a caution brought on by a decade and a half of well learned lessons (this makes no sense).
- Aggies have in no way felt confident about their team in the past few years (hahahahahahaha).
- Aggies are by their nature a timid bunch and/or not degenerate gamblers (eh, possible I suppose).
- You guys are holding out on me (winner).
The responses I did receive could generally be broken into a few categories below.
The T Shirt Fan
The overwhelming majority of you engaged in some form of this:
@HypnoToad03 Worst Christmas ever. pic.twitter.com/fkebrNmGqF— Thomas Dickson (@tdickson03) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @GBHunting I had to wear a TU shirt— Morgan Butts (@morganpaige21) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @cuppycup not Aggie football but close; had to wear a tu shirt to a bar to watch 2005 NCG since I bet against tu making it— A&M Redass (@Ags1151) October 20, 2014
You know when you get a new job and you spend the first day just sitting in HR filling out paperwork? They hand you about 50 different forms for you to sign assuring everyone that you will not be a drunk, a lunatic, a felon, or a creeper. Most people don't realize that one of those forms is the standard agreement that you will engage in the shirt bet with your coworkers until one of you dies or retires. This bet is a requirement of being employed in the modern workforce. I think it's an OSHA regulation.
The Singing Hellegram
@HypnoToad03 @GBHunting I had to stand on a desk singing the Texas Bite song in front of 30 people I managed. Wearing orange.— Amy Underwood (@AmyUnderwood92) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @GBHunting have to stand up in front of a group of 50 and talk about how great the person I lost to is for a full minute— Aidan Read (@AidanRead1) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @cuppycup Had to sing "no place like nebraska", wearing overalls,foam finger,&corn cob hat in front of entire office in '99— Kathryn Clarke (@KClarke95) October 21, 2014
It might not always involve actual singing, but this classic type of bet features public humiliation, ideally in front of a crowd of people who haven't the slightest idea what's going on. I like to imagine that Kathryn works for a law office or high-powered stock broker, and this was done on top of a large conference room table in a room lined with leather-bound books. And there she was just a-rootin' and a-tootin' in front of their looks of confusion and dismay.
It's college football, Harvard. Of course you don't get it.
The Sad Hack
Bear your shame online where no one can see you cry.
@HypnoToad03 @cuppycup had to have Tebow doing the gator chomp as my avi for a week after the '12 florida game. Season turned out okay.— Brandon Wheeland (@BrandonWheeland) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @GBHunting I had to name my 2009 fantasy football team the score of the '08 Baylor game: Bufourone Tamutwoone— rcb05 (@rcb05) October 21, 2014
BWhee is appropriately chill about the slap-on-the-wrist he received for Johnny's college career opener.
As of press time at least four different 24 hour news networks are reporting that Bufourone Tamutwoone is currently on a plane flying from Sierra Leone to your living room.
The Existential Long Con
Sometimes a losing bet is weird and sad and goes on for years.
@HypnoToad03 I "won" a date with my now TU grad ex after we beat them in 2006. Even when we win, I lose— Brian (@Brians_Song) October 21, 2014
@HypnoToad03 I had to go to the National Championship and watch TU win. They kept winning for like 100 years.— Buddy Kilgore (@BuddyKilgore) October 21, 2014
@HypnoToad03 @cuppycup my soul— Greg Placke (@GPlacke) October 20, 2014
@HypnoToad03 so I guess what I’m saying is no one won there.— MaybeASpookyPerson (@MaybeACrook) October 20, 2014
Somehow this is actually the saddest bet I've ever heard.
And The Award For Worst Best Bet Ever
@HypnoToad03 I've got a really bad feeling that in two weeks, I'll be having to wear Auburn panties for an extended period of time.— agmrpink (@agmrpink) October 20, 2014