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Dr. Norris Camacho
WHAT I'M WATCHING
La Tech at North Texas 7:00 Thursday, CBSSN
Why I'm Watching
TRANSITIVITY: one team got blown out by OU, and the other by Texas. The team that got blown out by Texas blew out SMU. I think that means we're better than Texas or something. Plus these two are usually just fun to watch. The movie "Necessary Roughness" was filmed at UNT. Paul Blake is my favorite movie QB of all time.
What I'm Consuming
Corn Nuts and football twitter.
East Carolina at Virginia Tech 11:00 Saturday, ESPN
Why I'm Watching
ECU put up a fight against South Carolina and Tech is fresh off a huge upset in The Horseshoe. This is typically when VT shits the bed and loses 13-10 or something, but it's always interesting to see how they react.
What I'm Consuming
Tacos of my own devising
Texas vs. UCLA (Arlington) 7:00 Saturday, FOX and FOX Deportes
Why I'm Watching
You know why. Plus it will be fun to check in on the Spanish broadcast from time to time. This game also offers the courtesy of being over by 8:00 so that I can just flip over to our game.
What I'm Consuming
Schadenfreude laced with the tiniest bit of guilt at first, but then that guilt goes away pretty fast. And some iced tea or something.
Hypno-Toad
WHAT I'M WATCHING
Arkansas @ Texas Tech | 2:30 PM Saturday | abc
Why I'm Watching
The most intriguing game of the week - I thought Arkansas would be the favorite but Vegas seems to know something I don't. In the first two weeks Tech allowed an FCS team and UTEP to take them to the fourth quarter before dispatching them. Arkansas enjoyed a nice slump-busting smackdown last week over Nicholls State, matching our 73 points scored. I want to know if this is a team to worry about.
How I'm Watching
With the same abiding hatred of Texas Tech that was created with my only visit in '99 and was tempered by the fire of their assholetry (TM) for years into the Valyrian steel of loathing.
What I'm Consuming
Boar sausage on a tortilla.
Minnesota @ TCU | 3 PM Saturday | FS1
Why I'm Watching
Morbid curiousity. The B1G is about 10 non-con losses from just scrapping this season entirely and trying again next year. Meanwhile, the Big XII appears to be OU, Baylor, and the also-rans but I really just want to find out which teams I will get to laugh at the Longhorns for losing to.
How I'm Watching
Wearing purple because I love Mrs. Toad and I would like her to continue to tolerate my bullshit.
What I'm Consuming
Whatever Casey Pachall can get me on short notice.
Penn State @ Rutgers | 7 PM Saturday | BTN
Why I'm Watching
The PSU fan base should be peaking right now after the NCAA pointed at Ray Rice, said "OH MY GOD WHAT'S THAT?!", then snuck in a repeal of all of the sanctions on PSU while the country's back was turned. It will be fun to watch the commentators try to discuss this without using the words 'bullshit', 'farce', and 'Mark Emmert is a monument to impotence and irrelevance'.
How I'm Watching
In a complex blend of disinterest and disgust. Behind the storylines is still the fact that this is B1G football, so I assume I'll also be watching YouTube videos of animals peeing on things.
What I'm Consuming
Bile probably.
doug.keegan
Baylor @ Buffalo | 7PM Friday | ESPN
Why I'm Watching
Snuff film fetish. Sure, Baylor is a 35+ point favorite, but it's nevertheless a college football type substance. And damnit, Art Briles' offense, when clicking, is fun to watch. (So much sexier than Charlie Strong's, am I right, recruits?) Then there's the built in comedy of the defending Big XII Champions going on the road to play a Friday night game in Buffalo. Yes, that Buffalo. As in "stone's throw from Canada".
How I'm Watching
As lazily as possible. Friday nights in the fall are for R&R before long game days in Aggieland.
What I'm Consuming
Obscene quantities of Coke Zero, my vice. Damn you A&M and your Pepsi contract!
UCF @ Mizzou | 11AM Saturday | SECN
Why I'm Watching
More SEC addiction. Mizzou's final score against Toledo last week was impressive, but the defense still looked iffy. Nevertheless Maty Mauk makes for entertaining football. All respect to our beloved Kenny Trill, but Mauk may be the best QB in the ESS EEE SEE. On the other sideline, UCF - last seen losing a heartbreaker to PSU in the emerald isles - is no slouch and I'm hoping George O'Leary drops a few tips for my LinkedIn profile at halftime.
How I'm Watching
Parked in a camping chair at a tailgate, unwinding from the drive in to town and basking in the glory of temperatures that are not-in-the-90s.
What I'm Consuming
Snackapalooza. Any and all bite-sized edibles with varied combinations of carbs, sugars, and cheeses are fair game.
Georgia @ South Carolina | 2:30PM Saturday | CBS
Why I'm Watching
Intense desire to be serenaded by the adrenaline-pumping SEC on CBS theme and the sweet chortles of Uncle Verne. The intense desire to punch Gary Danielson tells me it's real. Also seeking any evidence that Todd Gurley is from this solar system. Will be pulling for South Carolina, as should you. A good showing here would make us feel even better about our Aggie Footballers.
How I'm Watching
Sociably. Milling about on the northeastern outskirts of Reed Arena, never far from the television or a cooler.
What I'm Consuming
Nothing within moseying distance is off limits, but with an 8pm kickoff, pacing is essential. Remember that, kids.
oscarwildecat
Houston @ BYU | 8pm Thursday | ESPN
Tony Levine's Cougars got off to a rough start, getting pantsed by UTSA before bouncing back against an awful Grambling St. squad. BYU has only played lower-conference opponents so far this season, and Houston should be a good jump up in competition.
Drinking: A 3.2% ABV beer in honor of Provo.
Tennessee @ Oklahoma | 7pm | ESPN
In what could make for a fun little lead-in to the A&M game, Butch Jones and his not-quite-ready for primetime players enter the most boring environment in major college football. The Vols skill position talent is full of promise, but the Sooner defense should have a field day with the rebuilt Tennessee oline.
Drinking: A 3.2% ABV beer in honor of Oklahoma.
Nevada @ Arizona | 10pm | Pac 12 Network
Because Brian Polian is quietly coaching his ass off. Because RichRod is fun to root against. And because football season is short, dammit, and I will not be denied my late night Paction.
Drinking: 110 proof small batch, attempting to make up for all that crappy beer.
Lucas Jackson
What I'm Watching
Central Florida at Missouri | 11:00 AM Saturday | SEC Network
Why I'm Watching
Because Missouri loves company! Actually this is the best of the 11:00 matchups. Rooting for Missouri to carry the SEC torch.
How I'm Watching
On the couch, like a proper gentleman of leisure.
What I'm Consuming
Orange juice, a Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit, and a Bacon Egg Cheese Taquito from Whataburger.
What I'm Watching
Louisiana Lafayette at Ole Miss | 3:00 PM Saturday | SEC Network
Why I'm Watching
Another interesting barometer for the middle of the SEC. Mark Hudspeth has built a solid program in Lafayette. Ole Miss should tread lightly, the Ragin Cajuns SR QB Terrance Broadway is a dual threat veteran who could put a scare into the Rebels.
How I'm Watching
I’ll likely move to the local watering hole, Twisted Root Burger Co. to consume as many games at once with some friends.
What I'm Consuming
The Western Burger, washed down with various Abita beers.
What I'm Watching
Louisiana-Monroe at LSU | 6:00 PM Saturday | ESPNU
Why I'm Watching
Like our esteemed Mr. Toad, it is in the best interests watch the contests of my lady’s alma mater. I also live in Shreveport, so I must be fluent in LSU football to maintain conversations. I hail from Northeast Louisiana, and spent my formative years traveling to Pecanland Mall in FUNROE, so I have a soft spot for the Warhawks (despite their incomprehensible mascot choice).
How I'm Watching
Grilling steaks around the pool at a friend’s house, getting geared to watch the Aggies steam Rice at 8 pm on The Deuce.
What I'm Consuming
For some reason, I can’t grill steaks without drinking a domestic beer. So probably will have a few of these and maybe some basic queso.
James Gardner
What I’m Watching
Iowa at Iowa State | ESPN | 2:30 PM
Why I’m Watching
Slow white dudes playing for something called a CyHawk Trophy and "we’re not the worst Power 5 Conference" pride! Also, these folksy farm folk party their asses off. Someone (maybe a girl) will dilute half their blood in ether and do something memorable even if the football is not.
What I’m Consuming
Cased meats! Is sausage paleo? I’m trying to be fit and hip, you see.
/keeled over walking to fridge
What I’m Watching
Texas vs. UCLA (in Arlington) | FOX | 7 PM
Why I’m Watching
Schadenfreude is a damn drug. I can’t help myself. Texas is trotting out an offense held together with duct tape and Bubble Yum. These fellas WISH they were kicked off the team. Can UT Arlington play?
What I’m Consuming
Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough like a damn child and Topo Chico.
What I’m Watching
Notre Dame vs. Purdue (in Indianapolis) | NBC | 6:30 PM
Why I’m Watching
Good Lord. Make the neutral site shit stop. This week has a pretty raw slate. I’ll watch a rejuvenated ND team do their thing.
What I’m Consuming
Cheese enchiladas? Cheese Enchiladas.