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GBH Mailbag #2

You can't handle the truth

GBH was also delivered a large sack of children's letters to Santa
GBH was also delivered a large sack of children's letters to Santa
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

The GBH collective consciousness is here to answer your puny questions with its fearsome mental powers. Do not fear our all-knowingness, but also do not look directly at us or risk melting like in Raiders Of The Lost Ark.

It's GBH Off-season Mailbag 2015, volume 2!

1. Bigger freshman impact? Daylon or Kirk?

- Taylor Frederick

thacktor: Broderick.

Rush: Daylon Mack is quite a bit bigger. He plays DT, and Kirk is a wide receiver.

Chuck: Daylon fills in a position of much greater need, so I think he has the best chance of making a big impact. Besides, Kirk Cameron really didn't do much after Growing Pains.

2. What are the chances Kyler Murray sees the field a significant amount of plays this year?

- Taylor Frederick

thacktor: Better than most.

Rush: 39%

Chuck: P = (S-0.5)^2 - L + C^3

where P is the probability of Kyler playing, S is the overall success of the team, L is the strength of the ligaments in Kyle Allen's knees, and C is the likelihood of Kyle Allen turning to a life of crime.

3. What do you think Lee Corso does during the offseason? You never see him on ESPN. He's not on social media. I'm curious of your theories. I personally like to think he spends the offseason slumbering in a cave, hibernating while wearing the Puddles the Duck outfit. With college marching bands playing on a loop in the background.

- Shooter Flatch

thacktor: Lee Corso fights crime in small towns across america as "The Rambler." He corners criminals and begins to speed yelltalk them into submission. The Rambler gets his superpowers from coffee, an appropriate amount of fiber, blood pressure medication, and unreasonable amounts of cocaine.

Rush: He's ensconced in his lair playing NCAA 2004 on a PS2 and prank-calling Chris Fowler at odd hours of the Australian night to mock his tennis fandom.

Chuck: Lee Corso is an animatronic robot created by parent company Disney. During the offseason he is kept in a storage unit in Hoboken, NJ.

4. My anonymous question (please ignore that my email is the same as my twitter handle and sbnation username) is why don't we run the damn ball. where's the grit PAWLLLLL? even our best year under SWAGACOPTER SUMLIN was because our quarterback ran. run the damn ball

- Hayden Gaspard


Rush: It's because the coaches spend too much time designing fancy-pants uniforms instead of practicing the run game.

Chuck: Them boys is soft, I tell you what. Used to be a sport fer men, but now they's got all fancy with them nancy boys runnin' around throwin' the ball t'each other. I tell you it ain't natural. Folks is mean to run the ball three yards inna cloud a dust. Says so in the Bible.

5. Who played the best part...Tommy Lee Jones as Capt. Woodrow F. Call or Robert Duvall as Capt. Gus McCrae? Not which character you love the most, but which actor played it best.

- Shooter Flatch

thacktor: I need to rewatch Lonesome Dove, apparently.

Rush: Tie. One can't exist without the other.

Chuck: Having never seen this show I'm going to default to Tommy Lee Jones because he looks like an anthropomorphic leather couch that is disappointed in your decision to go to art school.


Thanks again for all the questions, everyone. We need more, so send your queries to