:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/35723044/lamar-facebook.0.jpg)
Yesterday, I was driving between College Station and Navasota and was shocked to see a billboard for Lamar University on the side of Highway 6. Like any diligent internetter, I posted the photo to Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Most people seemed to agree that Texas A&M should BTHO Lamar, but Facebook questioned the validity of the billboard:
I wanted to set the record straight, so this morning I called the phone number on the billboard to learn more about Lamar.
CC: Hey, Lamar?
Lamar: Yes?
CC: Could you tell me where Lamar is located?
Lamar: [address redacted]
CC: What city are you in?
Lamar: Bryan
CC: Bryan, Texas?
Lamar: uh huh
CC: Ohhh, okay. I didn't even realize that. And how many folks do you expect to have in College Station on September 6th?
Lamar: Excuse me? [cc repeats question] What do you mean?
CC: Will you be in College Station this Fall?
Lamar: Yes
CC: Ok, how many people do you think you'll have there in September?
Lamar: As far as...
CC: Like, people from Lamar.
Lamar: Just one location?
CC: Uh, yes. Kyle Field.
Lamar: Who am I speaking to?
CC: Gary (I panicked).
Lamar: Ok Gary, who are you calling with?
CC: It's just me.
Lamar: Are you calling with another company?
CC: Like, not a company that makes money per se.
Lamar: [long pause] Ok.
CC: I am calling to find out more information about Lamar like whether you have a mascot.
Lamar: Ok, we do billboards.
CC: Ok, so it is "Billboard People" then? That is the mascot?
Lamar: Yes.
CC: And what are your colors?
Lamar: Green. What does that have to do with anything?
CC: I was gonna do some mockups and designs and would like to incorporate the correct colors.
Lamar: Ok, it's green.
CC: Do you guys have any yells or cheers or anything to get you motivated?
Lamar: No, we do not.
CC: Okay, pretty straightforward then. So who is your best player?
Lamar: As far as...
CC: Just ability and maybe buzz on the national scene.
Lamar: The Aggies
CC: [stunned silence] I'm sorry?
Lamar: Texas Aggies
CC: Texas Aggies.... that's... your best... player?
Lamar: Mmm hmm.
CC: Ok, I'm confused. So you'll actually be rooting for Texas A&M?
Lamar: Yes.
CC: Oh wow, that's interesting. Even on September 6th when Texas A&M plays Lamar?
Lamar: Of course we are.
CC: Don't you think maybe that's a conflict of interest for you?
Lamar: Why would it be?
CC: When the Aggies play Lamar?
Lamar: What does that have to do with anything? We are Aggie fans here and support our Aggies.
CC: But since you're Lamar don't you think people might be upset if you're backing Texas A&M?
Lamar: No.
CC: Ok. Will you personally be there on September 6th?
Lamar: Yes.
CC: And you'll be wearing green or maroon?
Lamar: Only maroon.
CC: Ok, so do you think it will be difficult to differentiate Lamar from Texas A&M?
Lamar: No, I don't.
CC: So who is your coach this year? I hadn't really heard of Lamar until yesterday.
Lamar: Ok, you do know you're calling Lamar Advertising and not Lamar University.
CC: In what way? Like advertising for Lamar or...
Lamar: What is the purpose of your call?
CC: I'm trying to find out more information about Lamar.
Lamar: [agitated] Ok, WHY?
CC: I'm trying to inform the people of the internet about Lamar.
Lamar: Ok, of?
CC: Well, most people hadn't heard of Lamar until yesterday.
Lamar: Ok, where did you hear about Lamar?
CC: On the internet... the tweeter.
Lamar: What about it?
CC: That's where I first heard about Lamar. And since September 6th is coming up quickly I just wanted to get a sense for what Lamar's all about.
Lamar: So are you not calling from Texas A&M University?
CC: No. No, I am not.
Lamar: Ok, where are you calling from?
CC: My apartment. Gary's apartment.
Lamar: [click]
As you can see, we're left with more questions than answers after the interview. I'd like to personally thank the worker at Lamar for speaking with me for over five minutes.