HAPPY TUESDAY. It’s late January and we’re spinning in a vortex of manufactured taeks so why not talk about the upcoming Super Bowl in our backyard and how stupid professional sports geographical superiority complexes are.
BAHHSTAN THINKS THEYAH ABOVE DEIGNING TO BEAT A TEAM FROM [DISDAINFUL VOICE] AT-LAN-TA [/DISDAINFUL VOICE] FOAH ANOTHAH CHAMPIONSHIP.
This article could have been written by any tenth grader hopped-up on varsity sports, civic pride, and access to Wikipedia so that they could look up NBA champions from decades before they were born. This is the exact chest-thumping, single-sentence-as-paragraph-using, nicknames-you-see-on-your-parents’-facebook-employing sportswriting that reinforces sportswriting as the most grating genre of self-gratifying word waste.
The basic premise of this entire article, which ran in Boston’s largest newspaper, seems to be "Atlanta isn’t as passionate about professional sports as my city, therefore it will be extremely ungratifying when my city’s sports team crushes their sports team for their latest championship bragging rights."
Who gives a shit? This is the type of condescending arrogance that galvanizes dozens of fanbases against a handful of college teams rooted in hubris and superiority complexes. But since one of Atlanta’s shortcomings according to the article is that they like college sports, this phenomenon is as yet unlearned to the author or his target audience.
This is the kind of nonsense that makes people laugh and gets 90% of neutral fans to root against you in college football. It’s when a message board rant gets picked up on all the outlets and becomes a meme. Only in professional football, they skip the middle man and go straight to promoting the ridiculous in the newspapers.
Sports are dumb. Go Falcons.