GOIN’ TO THE ‘LYMPICS. Former Texas A&M swimmer Camille Adams is headed to Rio to compete in the Summer Olympics. She showcased some SEC SPEED in the 200m Butterfly to finish ahead of Hali Flickinger of Georgia. If this is the most we’ve ever written about a swimming it’s because the Olympiad only rolls around every four years and we like to savor it.
MAINTAINING A CONSISTENT BRANDING SYNERGY WHILST ATTAINING SPECTRUM-WIDE EXCELLENCE. That’s what you’re doing when you finish #12th #TWELFTH in the Director’s Cup Standings, gang. The talking point stars don’t align like this for just anyone, you have to strive to achieve. Florida was the only SEC school ahead of the Ags.
YES, YES, THE ANSWER IS YES. Regression breeds passive-aggressive depression and self-loathing, and nowhere has that been more evident than the spiraling decline of the Aggie Offense in 2014-2015. What was once a diamond-encrusted buzzsaw rapidly decayed into discount skil saw blade made out of aluminum and Chinese plaster you bought at Dollar General: just not cutting it. Well, that’s all about to change: B-Wheels tells us why the 2016 offense will be off the damn rails good. Remember that jaunt through October and early November of 2012? How you thought we could win any game by any amount of points, and usually did? Time for more of that again. If you can’t get wildly hopeful in July about a veteran quarterback and a seasoned coaching hand at the offensive helm who has worked well with Sumlin in the past, well, maybe College Football isn’t for you. If eternal despair is your preference, baseball season is approximately 10.5 months long. And there's always Twitter.
Speaking of which, we leave you with some fashion tips for the ladies from our Twitter sage EZ:
#Ladies Dark shades of lipstick just tell me you're angry at life. Eat lunch by yourself. And have 2 imaginary friends both named Beth.— Uzoma Nwachukwu (@EazyKnowsBest) June 26, 2016