The NFL Draft is in the books, and there are still nine months left until National Signing Day 2017. Oh yeah, there's football to fill up some space in between if that's your thing. But we all know it's NEVER TOO EARLY to talk about the future when it concerns football. Here's an exclusive look at your Fightin' Texas Aggie Signin' Class of 2026!
Kayden Mark Scott, S, Lufkin Fifth Baptist Charter School
Kayden has large hands and good length but his teachers question his work ethic.
Kendale Ferngully Artisan-Fielding, QB/WR, Fort Worth Trailblazers Academy
Kendale is beginning to discover his wristload according to his dead relatives
Toronto Martinez, DE, Lower Alamo Heights Middle Primer
Toronto has a great first step, but scouts worry his fervent belief in the tooth fairy is an indication that he lacks mental toughness.
Joradayan B. Finchweather, RB/LB, Houston Central But Not Too Central Just Like Good Central Junior Academy
Joradayan brings his BB-8 lunchpail to school every day but so do dozens of other students at HCBNTCJLGCJ Academy. Academy rules actually dictate that this specific model of lunchpail must be brought daily by each student so no one feels left out.
Tristen Kale Bienvenidos Smith, DL, Corpus Christi Seaside Manor Arts & Industry Primary
Tristen has red flags with a shoplifting "accident" in preschool but his flexburst is worth taking a chance on. Coaches are excited about his parents' plan to co-sleep until he is 15 years old. Should build team skills.
Tobias Nettleman, TE, Windsor Highland Lakes Heights East Elementary of Plano, Inc.
Solymyn Pierre-Preston Heatherington IV, DE, Plano East Highlands West Developmental Institute
Solymyn reminds me of a 10 year old JJ Watt in that I've never seen him play
Paladin Barrera, OL, Stone Oak Science/Vocational Tech for Young Adults Under Ten
Paladin's agent/mother believes that his prenatal yoga regimen will give him an edge as a pass blocker.
Rylek Mayer, ATH, Nella Intermediate Minor Academy
A bit diminutive, but coaches and trainers assure us he will hit his growth spurt any day. Father is a bit... overinvolved, but that can be overlooked because he's won 383 consecutive youth league games. Nothing could possiblie go wrong.
Buc-ee Waller, K, Juarez Juelding School
Known for his strong wrist and ankle load, Buc-ee is also very loved in his safe spaces. He fully intends to turn the Aggie locker room into the campus' safest of safe places. Finds the humourists on NPR to be "too edgy".
Sage Jefferson, QB, Austin Lakeside Campsite, LLC.
Sage has gotten great marks from his pre-Montessori learning facilitator, however scouts are concerned that his allergies to gluten, peanuts, canola oil, onions, animal protein, and unfiltered tap water may indicate a lack of durability.
Madison Prince, WR, Highland Park Academy for Dicks
He's a trustfunder, so he'll come cheap for the program. Doesn't need your gauche handouts. Has only played lacrosse against other trustfunders, so he'll be a project at WR in the SEC. One potential red flag - has enough cash on hand to buyout the head coach's contract if he's displeased.
Presley Windcroft, CB, Katy West Ted Cruz Primary
Presley isn't vaccinated. That's it. That's the scouting report.
Ben'dryll Flanagan, WR, Abilene Exxon Pre-Pre-Pre Jr. High
Ben'dryll cried all night until his doula brought him a stuffed all cotton giraffe named Neckly. Projected as a wide receiver who wants the ball.
Folks, if that doesn't get you jacked for Aggie Football making a run at the SEC in the late '20s, nothing will. However, it should be noted that football in its current contact state will more than likely cease to exist by the time they exhaust their college eligibility.