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Daily Bull 4.4.16: Sacked by Myles Garrett

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“This place aint the same. It never will be. Maybe we've all got a little crazy. I guess if everbody went crazy together nobody would notice, what do you think?”
-Cormac McCarthy

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

GAINESVILLE MORE LIKE LOSSVILLE-- [author is crushed beneath avalanche of boxed baseball puns perched on decaying shelves that finally collapse, resulting in most horrendous death imaginable]. The #1 Fightin' Texas Aggie Baseball team went on the road to #2 Florida and were swept handily. The obvious solution is to fire everyone remotely involved with any aspect of baseball or losing or sports, etc., until we find a staff that can attain the #1 ranking and never relinquish it.  Official Nesloney recap on the way.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, THE FORGOTTEN SEASON. Thousands of recruits gathered the other night to watch a scrimmage and to help Landry try to get his band signed to an initial record deal as Tami struggled to find a new hairdresser and Eric's staff is confronted with a new smokeless tobacco policy.

Here are the other highlights, gleaned from a cursory glance at social media since the event was not attended by members of this website since it happened on a Friday night and obviously calendars are booked socially and whatnot:

  • it was LIT
  • Myles Garrett sack
  • free pizza for the first 1200...get it? 1200 because 12 and don't you dare do the hashtag branding shit
  • Myles Garrett sack
  • there was music
  • Trevor Knight was there throwing an actual football: he's stuck around for 3 months, this is a good sign!
  • that's about it, except that third Myles Garrett sack
  • not sure who won

Summary: Myles Garrett is still very, very good, and the defense is looking nice. Leave some meat on those QB bones, Myles. We're gonna need 'em next fall.

HEY YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS PRETTY GOOD? Coach Sumlin and the team pitched in during the Big Event the day after the scrimmage. They have helped out at Twin City Missions for the past several years. Gig "Em, team.