GET TO KNOW: University of Wisconsin-Green Bay Phoenix

Green Bay was founded by French traders in 1634, and the original name translated directly to "The Stinking Bay." Three hundred and thirty years later, the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay was finally established to clean up the area, having a focus on environmental sustainability and boasting the nickname "Eco U."

All facts herein taken directly from Wikipedia, by the way. This is just a bit of fun, University of Wisconsin-Green Bay Angry Internet, assuming you exist (and we must assume that).

THE FACTS

Official Enrollment

Somewhere north of 6,600

Size Matters

This does sound rather nice

Located on the northeast side of Green Bay, UW–Green Bay enjoys a park-like setting overlooking Lake Michigan's bay of Green Bay. At roughly one square mile, the campus is among the largest in the state. Much of the acreage is devoted to natural areas, with the central campus bordered on one side by the bay and on the other by a wooded ridge known as theNiagara Escarpment.[8]

Athletics

• Horizon League members
• 9 women’s and 7 men’s varsity sports
• Fifth NCAA appearance by the men’s team (last one was ‘96)
• Lost to Illinois State in first round of NIT last year

Mascot

Phlash The Phoenix. Hey.

Notable Alumni/Attendees

• Jeff Nordgaard, member of the 1997 Milwaukee Bucks
• Barbara Lawton, Lt. Governor of Wisconsin
• Tony Shaloub, badass actor

Tony Shaloub cut his teeth on the mean stages of Green Bay East High School where he ACTUALLY AND NON-METAPHORICALLY BROKE A LEG falling off stage. He then used UWGB as a springboard to an eventual master's degree from YALE SCHOOL OF DRAMA. Although he has appeared in a wide variety of films, plays, and shows, his best role (for my money) will always be Antonio the cab driver in Wings. Wings gave us a unique look inside the gritty world of small airports that service wealthy, exclusive resort communities. As one of the few non-WASP characters in the show, we get to view this cutthroat world of ticket cancellations, mechanical snafus, sibling rivalries, and casual discrimination through the disaffected but wise eyes of the Italian immigrant. Wings reruns were on every time I flipped on the TV while looking for a means to procrastinate while a student at A&M so I can assure you his work on this show had a seminal impact on '90s pop culture as a whole as it skyrocketed him into leading roles and his pick of anything he wanted. If the basketball team has anything like Tony's workmanship or dedication to the craft, we could be in for a tougher challenge than we expected.