GBH Bowl WATCHLIST: the final college football Saturday

This is perhaps the least interesting bowl game of the entire year. It is approximately the 39th bowl played in the state of Florida, it's a morning kickoff, and it features a team that fired its coach after nine wins and a 7-5 team that gave up about six hundred sacks. Both schools play a brand of football that only Gary Danielson and crotchety internet posters get excited over. The saving grace of this game will be the erratic philosophical waxings of Dan Hawkins in the booth and the determined trolling of James Franklin, who managed to beat Georgia in his final season at Vandy and will hope to do so again with a middling B1G team.

Keep this game on in the background and use this time to construct a wonderful sandwich out of leftovers. Look for stuff you can buy with some of those Christmas gift cards.  Do that miscellaneous thing on the Internet you've been meaning to do all week. Just get it done in time for the Liberty Bowl between Arkansas and Kansas State and watch the student try to become the master.

By now, you've heard that legendary TCU QB Trevone Boykin is going to miss the bowl game because he was arrested for punching a San Antonio police officer. That's certainly a memorable way to end a prolific college career. San Antonio is an odd destination for those looking to party: it's wildly hyped as a tourist destination, but once you wander away from that string of chain tourist bars on the Riverwalk, there ain't much else interesting going on. No beach. A very spread-out town with a few interesting pockets. Hell, even Ozzy fell victim to the SA Party Malaise.

As a resident, I feel that it's my obligation to point out far more interesting and original ways to get headlines than getting in a fight at Pat O'Brien's:

• go on a BBQ robbery spree
  
• find Jesus in a cow trailer's rust
  
• hoard some turtles
  
• go into a restaurant and demand tacos while wielding a sword
  
• fake your own kidnapping so you can go get drunk with friends
  
• go hunting for Bigfoot in a homeless encampment
  
• hold a disabled vet's chihuahua (named "Guero") for ransom
  

And people say there's nothing to do here. SMDH.

This last bowl game before the playoff championship next week is sponsored by Motel 6 and played in a baseball stadium in Phoenix.  Pretty glamorous right?  With such a late date, both coaches have had plenty of time to prepare, although in very different ways.

Dana Holgorsen has spent the last 4 days in a sweat lodge in the high desert mountains.  He's been living off of Red Bull and mescaline.  Naked, he emerges from the hut, his skullet glistening in the desert sun.  He's had some amazing visions.  Three offensive lineman, a QB, and 7 wide receivers all running deep vert's.  He calls himself "Raven's Claw" now and has a burning couch tattood'd across his back.

Todd Graham has approached this game in a much different manner.  He's been on tour with Taylor Swift for a solid week performing as a backup singer and dancer. He's told his team he still cares about football, but at practice he's had them just sitting and listening to the 1989 album while he works on his dance moves at the 50 yard line.

This is your last Saturday night college football game for the next 8 months so enjoy this silly game and bet the over.