Day one of #SECMD15 is in the books and hoo boy was everyone having a gool ol' time. Brunch was served and the festivities kicked off.
THE DILIGENT PREPAREDNESS OF THE MEDIA:
OH MAN YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WRITE STUFF OUT LONGHAND THEY'VE GOT ELECTRICITY AND EVEN WIRELESS INTERNET IN ALABAMA NOW.
Gus Malzahn took to the podium first. Of course with Auburn, the talk turned to quarterbacks.
Coach Malzahn says that Auburn, " always builds their offense around their quarterback's strengths."— WVUA-FM Sports (@Capstone_Sports) July 13, 2015
Roll the archival footage please and
OHHHHH WAIT SOMEONE IN CONTROL ROOM B HAS PERPETRATED A GRIM AND TERRIBLE HOAX
Second to speak was Florida head man Jim McElwain, who gave an impassioned speech on the importance of SPF 40 or higher sunblock.
Not really, he just talked about the future of the Florida offense.
Up next, Vanderbilt coach Derek Mason was brutally honest. He admitted something that must have been very hard to admit.
The day wasn't all laughter and love, though. Some poor souls were really suffering by the end in the crowded confines of the luxury hotel.
When well over 1,000 media are credentialed for one event, I guess you can't be surprised the bathroom is already out of paper towels.— Seth Emerson (@SethEmersonAJC) July 13, 2015
HEAVENS! Someone fetch the salts and a frosty julep. What other atrocities will they have to endure? This is no doubt due to the influx of WEB SITE people, fouling up the entire atmosphere. Well, I guess paper products would be the first casualty in this microcosm of journalism. What do you think, Greg?
Tentatively agrees. Sounds about right.
BUT THE ATROCITIES DIDN'T STOP THERE, OH NO.
@SethEmersonAJC Dr. Pepper in the soda fountain is already flat, too.— Zac Ellis (@ZacEllis) July 13, 2015
Paul's cruel indifference is excusable because he hasn't consumed any carbonated or sugared beverages since 1987. Here's hoping the oppressed reporters were able to recover overnight and have girded themselves for more hardship tomorrow.