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Mailbag Addendum: Franzel Washington

Fran as various Denzel Washington characters: how the hell did we get here? Offseason, that's how.


We received lots of mail from Shooter for the 'bag posts, and they were all hellacious questions. I thought this one in particular warranted its very own article.

Why is Coach Herman Boone portrayed as this incredible coach in Remember the Titans?  Granted, he did a great job with the integration of the football team.  But when Jerry Rev Harris went down at QB with an injury, and he plugged in Ronnie Sunshine Bass, he refused to alter his offense at all.  Sunshine Bass appeared to have one of the best throwing arms in high school sports at the time.  But Coach Boone continues to run the wishbone with him.  (RUN THE DANG BALL BOONE!)  Honestly, without Coach Yoast's incredible defensive efforts (and willingness to shift players), I doubt they even make the playoffs.

Yours Forever,

Shooter Flatch

I see what you're trying to do, Shooter. It's clever, I'll give you that. You want us to admit that Fran's style paralleled the style of a Denzel Washington character, especially the way he tried to shoehorn the talents of Reggie and McGee into something they didn't fit. You want us to say that the bumbling, gooberific Franchione mirrored one of the ice-coldest dudes in Hollywood. Well, since it's off-season and we love a challenge we're going to do just that, and then take it a whole lot further. Just remember, you made us do this.

FLIGHT: This is a pretty good parallel for the whole trip: one big-ass hopped-up turbulent journey at the hands of an impaired man, but somehow in the end he miraculously still beat Texas twice in a row.

JOHN Q: A desperate man out of his element thrown into an impossible situation and getting friendly with his hostages? Sounds about like the Fran Big 12 experience.

FALLEN- 2004 Clemson: A mysterious occult entity inhabits bodies and enables them to do things you wouldn't expect. How else do you explain this thrashing of the Tigers? The movie even hints that a cat will have the last word in the future.

UNSTOPPABLE- 2003 Oklahoma: Pretty much self-explanatory. And Chris Pine is just the icing on the cake.

CRIMSON TIDE: The Bill Byrne-Fran relationship. In the end they both were simultaneously right and wrong or something.  And Bill Byrne seems like the type to keep a terrier in his office.

BOOK OF ELI- The 2006 Holiday Bowl. A blind man firing a shotgun wildly on the post-apocalyptic west coast is left for dead.

THE BONE COLLECTOR- 2005 Iowa State. Completely immobilized and attempting to stop the Todd Blythe killing streak using nothing but a radio headset.

RICOCHET- 2004 Utah. Sadistic mastermind Urban Meyer exacts a grueling and thorough revenge on the upstart who managed to make him look bad the year before.

Any others? Add your own in the comments. Have a Frantastic Friday.