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GBH WATCHLIST: Week 10

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Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

We're back in the saddle this week Aggie football-wise, and hopefully the chafing won't bee too unbearable. In the meantime, there are some nice features elsewhere around the channel guide, so find out which of our programs we're gonna look at this week. We're down two members this week, unfortunately, as Hypno-Toad is putting the final touches on the pumpkin-fueled go-kart he invented and Lucas Jackson is turning his living room into a to-scale replica of Carcosa, both in honor of Halloween.

Dr. Norris Camacho


GAME 1

Air Force @ Army | Saturday 10:30 AM | CBS

WHY

This is when you know you're into the meat of college football: it's the first of the service academy showdowns, it's brutal option football peppered with dazzling long runs, and there's autumn foliage in upstate New York. Plus we get to start football a half-hour early. If you don't like that, then, well, that's none of my business.

THE ESSENTIALS

Barbacoa from the local Jalisco place down the street. 'Merica.

GAME 2

Texas @ Texas Tech | Saturday 6:30 PM | FS1

WHY

Six years ago, this was a top five matchup between two 8-0 teams. And while schadenfreude dictates that we must enjoy their current struggles, this game will still be a good one. There's just something about a night game in Lubbock that makes me appreciate not playing night games in Lubbock anymore. Koach Kool is primed for a statement win.

THE ESSENTIALS

My special t-shirt.

thacktor

GAME 1

TCU at WVU | Saturday 2:30 PM | ABC

WHY

HAWT BIG 12 AXION! I really just want to watch the team that put up 82 on Kliff play ball. Should be a fun little game. Plus, it's in West Virginia. Regardless of the outcome, we should be able to see three portable meth labs explode in the parking lot. Never set the couch on fire IN the meth lab, WVU fans. It's just bad bull.

THE ESSENTIALS

I'll be watching in a coon-skin cap clutching my Heisenberg doll while lipping a bottle of moonshine.

GAME 2.

Texas @ Texas Tech | Saturday 6:30 PM | FS1

WHY

Because I'll need something to fill in the commercial breaks of Auburn vs. Ole Miss. Also, I want to see Texas lose to a team that had 82 hung on them by TCU. I still root for Kliff, y'all. I can't help it. Like all of his conquests, that one time was good enough to ruin me for other offensive coordinators.

THE ESSENTIALS

I'm going to bury myself in a 7' pile of brisket and eat my way to the top. Oh, and bourbon.

doug.keegan

GAME 1

Florida v Georgia | 2:30 PM Saturday | CBS

WHY

Turnovers. Special teams gaffes. Penalties. Herculean defensive effort and intensity. The spotlight falls on Big Dumb Will Muschamp Football on a lovely fall Saturday afternoon. Gator fans are counting down the number of root canals they have left before this inglorious era mercifully ends. And Aggie fans are dreaming of Muschamp roaming the sidelines of Kyle Field as Texas A&M defensive coordinator.

THE ESSENTIALS

Your checkbook. Muschamp ain't gonna come cheap, Ags. HERE TAKE ALL OF MY MONEY JUST GIVE ME A REAL DEFENSE!

GAME 2

Stanford v Oregon | 6:30 PM Saturday | FOX

WHY

For the past two years Oregon's precision-engineered, Nike-sponsored season has been shipwrecked by the thuggish nerds from Stanford. Can the Cardinal make it three in a row? If you feed off hatred of the SEC, you have have to root for Stanford here, as a Duck loss almost assuredly knocks Mark Helfrich's [Editor: Strikethrough font for "Mark Helfich's] Phil Knight's team from contention and increases the likelihood of multiple SEC teams getting playoff bids.

THE ESSENTIALS

Duck Puotine. Theming. It's the artery-cloggin' goodness you never knew you needed. Peep this salivation-inducing goodness.


GAME 3

Arizona at UCLA | 9:30 PM Saturday | ESPN

WHY

It's the second half of my personal PAC double header but shifting gears from punt potential to POINTS! potential. I CAN QUIT YOU ANY TIME LARRY SCOTT YOU DONT CONTROL ME OK YOU DO BUT ONLY LATE ON SATURDAY NIGHTS SO THERE! Appointment viewing for Michigan fans, as Rich Rod's eff you tour continues. And UCLA attempts to continue its season-long high wire act of underwhelming wins. To the coeds in the stands putting their Halloween costumes through a second night of duty? Bless you. Bless you all. May your fathers not be watching.

THE ESSENTIALS

All the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups you can pilfer from the nearest leftover candy stash. Hell, just go buy a bag for yourself on post-Halloween clearance. Enjoy.

oscarwildecat

GAME 1

Tulsa @ Memphis | Friday 7:00 PM | ESPNU

WHY

Friends, let us go to a place of togetherness, of transparency.  Of honesty, sharing, and regret.  Sometimes in life, we "volunteer" to "help" because we think "certain members of the opposite sex" will be at a party.  Then, because we're complete neanderthals, we find ourselves headed to a "party" with no "alcohol" chaperoning small children that aren't even ours.

Come tomorrow evening, some of us will be in the back corner of a stranger's house, hoping strongly that Memphis covers a 24 point spread, and what can we say except Halloween is the darkest of pagan holidays.

THE ESSENTIALS

Sadness-flavored Peanut M&M's.

GAME 2

Washington @ Colorado | Saturday 12:00 PM | Pac 12

WHY

If the Aggies have a pulse, and ULM finds itself down 42 in the 3rd quarter, we're going to need the occasional update on the rest of college football.  And where better to turn than the flatirons of Boulder, where the gorgeous scenery conceals a truly obnoxious fanbase.  Mike MacIntyre has lost to Cal and UCLA by a combined 6 points, and at some point the Buffs are going to actually finish a game.  Why not UDub?

THE ESSENTIALS

Tips from an alcoholic, haha, I mean pro!  4 ounces Hochstadter's Rock N Rye Whiskey, 2 dashes Angostura bitters, stir, and serve over rocks.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

GAME 3

Auburn @ Ole Miss | Saturday 6:00 PM | ESPN

WHY

Because I'm fascinated to see how Ole Miss bounces back from their loss in Baton Rouge last week.  Because I still don't entirely know what to make of Auburn this year.  And because watching Gus and his sweatervest, and the Rebel woodland creature out-bitch each other on the sideline will make for wonderful evening television.

THE ESSENTIALS

Jacket, maybe vest.  Fire on the back porch.  Dark beer, any dark beer.  THE FIRST REAL COLD FRONT OF THE SEASON IS HERE, REJOICE ACCORDINGLY

James Gardner

GAME 1

Duke @ Pitt | Saturday at 11 AM | ESPNU

WHY

I’m an Irish Catholic masochist that lives in some purgatory where pain is somehow noble and joyful. This is simply a B1G game with fewer people, an NFL stadium, and equal parts misery. I’m also a bit of a degenerate when it comes to games of chance and getting Dook plus points is just too rich to pass on.

THE ESSENTIALS

Huevos rancheros, black coffee, NO ‘Ween ‘stume. I’ll probably be dicking off on college football twitter with Camacho and whoever while being mildly entertained by some of the GBH groupie crazies divulging way too much of their lives in 140 characters or less.

GAME 2

Notre Dame @ Navy | Saturday at 7 PM | CBS

WHY

It’s an annual tradition to watch undersized, church-league hustling Middies on the offensive line chopping 5-Star Notre Dame linemen. Playing Navy is like drinking with a military man. It can feel fun and patriotic, but you might wind up with your legs broken, dignity lost, and left wondering why nations and borders exist in the first place.

THE ESSENTIALS

Mother of god hopefully GBH is intact. WILL A&M HAVE ANY QUARTERBACKS. WHAT IS LIFE.