GBH WATCHLIST: Week 6

Oh, hello. Did you calm down from last week yet? Good. There's football on, starting today, and this is why we're going to watch it.

HERE'S THE COMPLETE TV SCHEDULE

And your Week 6 WATCHLIST:

Dr. Norris Camacho

GAME 1

SDSU @ Fresno State | Friday 6:30 PM | CBSSN

WHY

I love a Friday night game, and Timmy D and the Dogs play some solid football. These two teams, along with Nevada, are in the top half of the Mountain West-West. If the PAC-12 is the PlayStation 4, the MWC is that old Nintendo 64 you've still got at your parents' house. You know it's not nearly as nice, but sometimes some Goldeneye or MarioKart is just more fun than any of the shiny expensive things.

THE ESSENTIALS

Friday night football just screams for homemade nachos, and I haven't gone there yet this year. The kind of nachos that barely fit under the broiler in the oven. That's what we're talking about here.

GAME 2

Nebraska @ Michigan State | Saturday 7:00 PM | ABC

WHY

Michigan State is the only boring team I like to watch and I have no idea why. Nebraska has a running back who is averaging like 400 yards per game and Sparty's defense is pretty much the usual Sparty's defense, so this one could be a 13-10 affair or it could be something else. If Michigan State can beat the Huskers, their only other remotely challenging game is when they host Ohio State. That Big Ten East...WOOF.

THE ESSENTIALS

Sparty Sparty Sparty, can't you see

Your 4-3 base just hypnotized me

The Midwest loves your non-flashy ways

It's why the Big Ten broke and you're still ranked

thacktor

GAME 1

Florida Atlantic @ Florida International | Thursday 6:00 PM | FSN

WHY

I can't pass up watching lower-tier Florida football. Ever. It's always fun to see these schools get after each other, you can passively watch and it doesn't matter. It's football, turn the damn game on. Plus, it's Florida. You never know what wildass shit is gonna happen in Florida. Cloudless lightening? Sure. Spontaneous combustion? It's a possibility. Sinkhole on the 50 yard-line? COULD HAPPEN!

THE ESSENTIALS

A tin-foil hat. Florida is more infectious than Ebola.

GAME 2

Baylor @ Texas | Saturday 2:30 PM | ABC

WHY

Do you have to ask? I not a petty individual, I swear. I'm really not. But there's nothing that will bring me more joy than watching Baylor run up this score while Art Briles stands on the sideline, power-pelvic-thrusting the air until he throws out his hip. Seriously. The amount of shit talking coming out of Austin after a David Wooderson inspired victory over Kansas is impressive. You're still Texas, that's a fact. Now you'll just be a 2-3 version of that squad with marquee victories over Kansas and the Mean Green.

But I'm not petty. I promise.

THE ESSENTIALS

A brick ton of beer, BBQ, and fat shame.

doug.keegan

GAME 1

Stanford at Notre Dame | Saturday 2:30 PM | NBC

WHY

Not just nerds playing football, but nerds playing gritty, defensive minded football. Everything you know is wrong. But on a serious note, we have a duty here as Americans. And that's to root for Stanford. Because it means a Notre Dame loss. And any Notre Dame loss is good for college football and, by extension, good for America. Trust me. We do NOT want to be dealing with the press fawning over an undefeated Irish team in November. Nor do we want to entertain the possibility of the domers thieving a playoff bid from a second, more deserving SEC West team.

THE ESSENTIALS

Your SAT scores and a certified copy of your high school transcript. "Sir, I regret to inform you that you need to be watching Bama at Ole Miss..."

GAME 2

LSU at Auburn | Saturday 6:00 PM | ESPN

WHY

Tigers and Tigers! You've got two sorcerers of insanity prowling the sidelines in Gus Malzahn and Les Miles, giving us a strong chance of seeing something we've never before seen on a football field. Last year's game was an almost pedestrian LSU win. Then Gus upgraded his book of spells and we all saw what happened the remainder of the Auburn season (IT WAS A HORSECOLLAR DAMNIT!). So in 2014 we're in for a double helping.

THE ESSENTIALS

Snow cone with Tiger's Blood. It's all about theming. And vodka, because we're grown ups.

GAME 3

Utah at UCLA  | Saturday 9:30 PM | ESPN

WHY

Late night PACtion is my college football mistress. And she's tag-teaming me on Saturday night with Utah at UCLA and Cal at Wazzu. So, so many sexy points and missed tackles. But the Bruins should draw your attention because they're undefeated-ish, Brett Hundley is immensely entertaining, and everyone gets ESPN (Sorry P12N). Plus, UCLA's defense is not good and Dennis Erickson is roaming Utah's sideline cashing paychecks, giving this game a dash of spicy, late night upset potential.

THE ESSENTIALS

Pastries. Underrated as a dessert item. Flaky baked goodness, fitting for the flaky baked crowd at UCLA.

Hypno-Toad

Iowa State @ #21 Oklahoma State  |  11 AM Saturday  |  FS1

WHY

Oklahoma State looked very beatable as they barely held on against a Texas Tech team that is devoid of a defense.  Meanwhile no one seemed to notice that the Cyclones held an explosive Baylor team to their second lowest score of the season while scoring more on them than any other team in 2014.  This is a trap game for the Cowboys, and I love those goofy bastards from Ames.

THE ESSENTIALS

If you attend a game in Stillwater and do not avail yourself of the smoked turkey legs in the stadium then what are you doing with your life.  Wash it down with some of that shitty 2.5% swill that they sell as bottled vitamin water in Texas.

GAME 2

#4 Oklahoma @ #25 TCU  |  2:30 PM Saturday  |  Fox

WHY

Because we've hit the point in the season where it becomes important for the teams ranked ahead of us to lose.  Because I want the Big XII to eat itself.  Because I like the Frogs.  Because I am realizing recently that I actually am neutral towards the Sooners but have a deep abiding hatred of Bob Stoops.  They're all good reasons, pick the one that suits you.

THE ESSENTIALS

In honor of Oklahoma get a fried pie and eat it in a trailer park.  In honor of TCU do it while tripping balls.

GAME 3

#7 Baylor @ Texas  |  2:30 PM Saturday  |  abc

WHY

It's an all Big Tweleventen weekend!  I will be rooting hard for the horns on this one.  Yes they are our rival blah blah, but the best thing that could possibly happen this weekend is Baylor having its playoff hopes dashed by a team that won't even break the Top 25 with the win.  As a bonus, by attending a game at DKR you stand a 1 in 30,000 chance of being asked to play left guard for the Longhorns, and wouldn't that be a fun way to kill an afternoon?

THE ESSENTIALS

No matter the outcome of the game it promises to be hilarious.  Comedy of this level should be paired with a fine wine.  Skip the Cab Sauv and go with something lighter and thinner to match the argument that this conference should get a playoff bid.

oscarwildecat

GAME 1

Utah State @ BYU | Friday 9:15 PM | ESPN

WHY

Friday night around 9:15 I will somehow find myself a proud denizen of 'Starkvegas', somehow coerced into participating in a so-called 'Bulldog Bash'.  As coherent speech/thought/actions may not be possible at that point, the default of sliding up to a bar and watching Chuckie Keeton versus Taysom Hill may be my best option to avoid incarceration.

THE ESSENTIALS

Moonshine.  Charged cell phone.  Good lawyer on speed dial.

GAME 2

California @ Washington St. | 9:30 PM | Pac 12 Network

Some of you may enjoy reliable transportation.  Trains that show up on schedule, flights that arrive on time, GPS that brings you exactly to your destination.  Others of us prefer to powerslide into airports tossing molotov cocktails into oncoming police cars whilst stiffarming TSA agents before highjacking G5's.  Not that I would admit to the latter, but I will be watching Sonny Dykes and Mike Leach burn each others houses down, and grin while doing so.

THE ESSENTIALS

Red Bull.  Vodka.  Kind Starkville police officers.  A 3 hour nap.  Non-flammable materials.

James Gardner

GAME 1

Tulsa at Colorado State | Saturday 2:00 PM | Ham Radio

WHY

Colorado State is my childhood, hometown team. They’re currently being coached by Saban protégé Jim McElwain and they’re playing some old school, SEC-style football with some junkyard dogs. And it is fantastic.

THE ESSENTIALS

My mountain yurt and my homemade radio. I’ll don my SEC sarong, an Indian headdress and get spiritual with some Mountain West football. Peyote and alpine pruno will also be consumed.

GAME 2

Utah at UCLA | Saturday 9:30 PM | ESPN

WHY

I have a sneaking suspicion that another Top 10 Pac team could be going down during the wee hours at home. IT’S 11 PM – DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR PAC 12 SCHOOL IS?

THE ESSENTIALS

Butter Crunch Blue Bell and Topo Chico LIKE A BOSS because I’m 31, milked every bit of sin I could out of my 20’s, and limped into 30 like a gaunt, malnourished hobo. So yeah, this about as WYLD & KRAZY as medical professionals allow me to be these days. Chase your dreams, kiddos.

Lucas Jackson

GAME 1

Alabama at Ole Miss | Saturday 2:30 PM | CBS

WHY

I’ll be in Baton Rouge on personal business this weekend, staying with a law school pal who is an Ole Miss alum.  There are no other options.  As a bonus, if we defeat Mississippi State, and somehow Ole Miss upsets Bama, I may consume enough spirits to make me go all Terrance Mann and walk off into the bayou and talk football with Shoeless Joe Jackson.  Oh what a story it will make.

Of course, in the GBH remake of Field of Dreams, which is in pre-production,  I’m Kevin Costner and Dr. Norris is James Earl Jones, but that’s another story.  Who should we cast as "Moonlight" Graham?

THE ESSENTIALS

Old fashioned grilling and PBR.   Probably throw some burgers and dogs on the Weber and consume them with gusto.

GAME 2

Cal at Washington State | Saturday 9:30 PM | Pac 12 Network

WHY

Naturally, being in Baton Rouge I’ll have to watch the LSU/Auburn contest surrounded by LSU alums, and basking in the glorious Auburn hate.  What better balm for soothing eye bruises sustained by watching SEC Manball than the Michael Bay production that is Pac 12 football brought to you by the Dread Pirate Leach and his pupil Sonny Dykes?  Passes…..passes everywhere.

THE ESSENTIALS

Late night Taco Bell.   Going with combo #4, Mexican Pizza and two Taco Supremes.  The perfect fourth meal.