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Answering simple questions in the style of Jimbo Fisher

There is no such thing as a straightforward answer

NCAA Football: Kentucky at Texas A&M John Glaser-USA TODAY Sports

Jimbo Fisher made headlines following his spring football press conference earlier this week when he answered a simple question about play-calling duties in a very non-simple way. When asked “What about who makes the play calls, will that be (Bobby Petrino) or you?,” Fisher responded with the following:

“Yeah, I mean, we’ll go through that as we go. (pause) Plan on him making calls, plan on him calling plays. I have no problem with that at all.”

The answer wasn’t definitively negative, because it wasn’t definitively anything. In fact if you watch the entire Q&A session, it’s how he answers almost everything asked of him. Jimbo seems to insist on providing vague or complex answers to even the most straightforward questions.

With that in mind, we channeled our inner Jimbo to see what answers he would provide to these extremely down the middle queries.

Simple questions answered in the style of Jimbo Fisher

Q: What is your favorite season?
A: Look all seasons are good if you prepare the right way. Fall? You’re gonna need a light jacket; winter, well it’s colder so you’re gonna need- the point is that preparation is the key to success in any season, and that’s true not just in weather but in the seasons of life, do you know what I mean? So yeah, seasons are important. If Earth ain’t rotating on it’s axis I don’t know what the heck would happen, so...

Q: What is 2+2?
A: Well we’ll have to look at that calculator and see what happened. Ya know so many times you think you know the answer but I can’t say until we know for sure. I mean one time when I was at Samford we saw what we thought was a 6. Everyone looked at it and said “yeah that’s a 6.” We looked back at the film and guess what? It an upside down 9. Math can seem simple until you really take a good look, man.

Q: What did you have for breakfast this morning?
A: Ah, I can’t remember. Done too many things since then, you know what I mean? But you know what I love? Grits. I could eat that every day. Because you gotta have grit every day if you’re gonna win in this league. If you’re a breakfast person, that means you’re a morning person. And the early bird gets the worm, and that worm ain’t turnin’ around here no more, I can promise you that.

Q: What is your name?
A: We talkin’ what’s on my birth certificate or what people call me? It’s funny how often the two aren’t the same, isn’t it? I mean my sons call me “Dad,” so is that my name? I dunno it’s- and look at Texas A&M. The A&M used to stand for “Agricultural and Mechanical,” but now it doesn’t stand for anything. Anyone can have a name, but what matters is- and sometimes people have names that are hard to pronounce, and you gotta practice ‘em. But you can’t just practice until you say it right, you gotta do it until you can’t say it wrong. But more important than a name is what you stand for.

Q: When do normally go to bed?
A: Sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your body. I tell our guys that all the time. If you aren’t recovering right you aren’t gonna, because that’s the thing - not enough people today, realize the importance of sleep. You can work out and watch film all you want to but if you don’t rest right, and recover right and sleep right, then everything else is wrong. Night time is the right time if you ask me.

Q: Seen any good movies lately?
A: Hey look, Hollywood, they had a hard time with the pandemic. You think we had it hard in college football? Imagine trying to make movies during that time. It was a hard time, and I feel for ‘em, I really do. But they seem to have - it’s been a great thing to see movies coming back, for theaters to be open. Movie tickets used to cost 50 cents, y’all remember that? No? Maybe I’m just too old. But I respect everyone in that industry. Grips, best boys, all of ‘em.

Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: Man I wish Brent would keep his questions brief, I can tell you that much. Nah, I’m just kiddin’, But ultimately, it’s not about what you’re wearing, it’s about execution. Are you keeping ‘em from bunching? Is there a good fit? Are they gettin’ laundered reg- because ultimately every underwear is the same. Boxers, briefs, boxer briefs none of it’s different because all of it has the same goal: support and comfort. Everyone wants to talk about moisture-wicking, comfort bands and, underwear is underwear no matter where you go.

Q: Could I borrow $5?
A: It’s amazing how little $5 gets you today, isn’t it? You can’t even get lunch no more with that. But honestly, too many people today put their focus on money. I mean we talk about NIL with players? And that’s important, it’s a good thing for- but they’ve gotta love ball. If you don’t love ball, it ain’t gonna happen. Five dollars isn’t nearly as valuable as five minutes in the film room, and that’s the truth.

Q: Think it’s gonna rain today?
A: I mean, we’ll go through that as we go. Plan on there being rain, plan on it raining. I got no problem with that at all.

Q: Did you watch any March Madness?
A: Like you’re watching in the in the NCAA Tournament, the teams that can - that are fundamentally sound - are the ones that move on. Just like in wrestling. I watch the wrestling as much as I did probably more so I did basketball, watch the NCAA Championships. Guys, that way, you can’t blame it on nobody else. Those guys are beat to a different drummer. Now that stuff there is this is fun to watch and you watch those guys and the fundamental guys, the guys that can handle pressure, the guys that can do things in the big moments are the guys that are totally fundamentally sound. That’s what at the end of the day it’s about, and we have to do this spring and that’s our goal this spring to focus on that and do those things. (this was an actual Jimbo response on Monday)

Feel free to add yours in the comments