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Terrible Trash Talk: Penn State

The absolute worst one-liners to take down the Nittany Lions

NCAA Basketball: Pacific at Gonzaga James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

7 seed Texas A&M takes on 10 seed Penn State in the first round of the NCAA Tournament on Thursday night. So of course, we are here to provide you a detailed breakdown of this matchup awful jokes.

  • Penn isn’t even a state.
  • More like not any lions.
  • Penn State’s mascot wears a scarf. Knit any, Lion?
  • “White out” is what Penn State Fans will be using to try and remove the box score of this loss to Texas A&M from existence.
  • There is no easier way to make an animal sound less imposing than to add the word “Nittany” to it.
  • If I said that I thought Penn State was gonna win, I’d be lion.
  • “State College? What a silly name for a town.” -Robert (College Station, TX)
  • Never lose to writing utensils.
  • If Penn State is gonna defend Wade Taylor IV, they’re gonna need to be a lot Quaker.
  • Their coach’s name is Shrewsberry. I loved that scene in Willie Wonka.
  • Going to be Sad Valley after we’re done.
  • Why do they have to constantly remind themselves that we are Penn State with their chant?
  • REMEMBER THE (2007) ALAMO (bowl)!
  • Penn State is gonna take it in de loins in Des Moines.
  • Penn State fans fancy themselves a cult. But nobody out-cults Texas AgriCULTural & Mechanical.
  • Can’t wait for Texas A&M to prove that they CAN stop the (Andrew) Funk.
  • Penn State has appeared in EVERY NCAA Tournament round of 32 (except 20 since 2002).


Be sure to leave your worst jokes in the comments.