Ranking fictional football coaches by how good a fit they’d be for the Texas A&M job

Texas A&M is in search of a new coach following the dismissal of Jimbo Fisher on Sunday, and while we are likely still days (if not weeks) away from the Aggies naming their next coach in reality, the content beast must be fed. So here’s a list of the top 10 fictional football coaches who would be the best fit for A&M’s coaching opening.

NOTE: These have to be fictional characters, so unfortunately Remember the Titans’ Herman Boone and Friday Night Lights’ Gary Gaines are not on this list, as those characters are based on real people by the same name.

10. Bud Kilmer (West Caanan HS)

Varsity Blues

Kilmer’s resume is virtually unmatched, bringing two state titles and 22 district titles (COUNT ‘EM!) to West Caanan High School in his 30-year career. He’s also very well-respected by members of the THSFCA, creating easy inroad for Texas recruiting pipelines. However, his final season at the helm raised serious concerns about his ability to relate to the modern athlete.

9. Ed Gennero (Texas State)

Necessary Roughness

Ah yes, A&M’s bitter rival Texas State, who wears green, plays in Denton and in the early 90s was coming off severe NCAA sanctions bordering on the death penalty. Say what you want about the overall lackluster season, but the Armadillos ended it by taking down the top-ranked University of Texas Colts. He proved he get the most out of even the most lackluster or rosters, and more importantly, is committed to building his program the right way.

8. Sam Winters (Eastern State)

The Program

Winters is one of the most respected coaches in college football. But some suspect his best years are behind him, and issues surrounding player discipline have some worrying that he very well could turn out to be Jimbo Fisher 2.0.

7. Ted Lasso (FC Richmond)

Ted Lasso

The last time we saw Lasso on an (American) football field, he was celebrating with his Wichita State squad after winning the D2 national championship. Both in his time with the Shockers as well as his stint across the pond, Lasso has shown an uncanny ability to relate to and get the most out of his players. And his ability to handle the noise that comes with coaching a Premier League soccer club indicates he could thrive in big time college football as well. Lasso would be a bit of a risky hire, but also potentially one that could pay huge dividends.

6. Tony D’Amato (Miami Sharks)

Any Given Sunday

Look, prying a coach from the pros is never easy, but given D’Amato’s disputes with ownership, the Aggies just might have caught him at a time where he’s open to making a move. He’s also proven that despite being a bit long in the tooth as a coach, he’s willing to adapt to the talent he has around him. Bad new for A&M fans: he’s obsessed with finding the inches.

5. Eric Taylor (Pemberton High School)

Friday Night Lights

NBCUniversal via Getty Images

Taylor has become somewhat of a living legend in Texas high school football coaching circles, winning state titles in 2006 and Dillon High School and, even more incredibly, at East Dillon in 2010. He’s a sound football mind and one of the best motivators in the game. The big knock on Taylor is whether or not he will stick around. He infamously left Dillon after his state title season to take an assistant coach job at TMU, only to abandon that post and return to Dillon midseason (ousting another coach in the process). He’d be there for two more seasons before a very public QB controversy would see him relegated to East Dillion High School. Then after two seasons there, his family suddenly moved to Philadelphia. Taylor is an intriguing option, but the fact that he seemingly can never stay in the same place for too long is a major red flag for potential employers.

4. Coach Klein (SCLSU)

The Waterboy

Once thought of as an offensive mastermind, Klein had been relegated to South Central Louisiana State after folding under pressure at seemingly every turn. But the revelation that was linebacker Bobby Boucher resurrected not only the Mud Dogs’ season, but Klein’s profile as a head coach. With his mental block apparently behind him, he could bring perhaps the most creative offense in college football to Aggieland

3. Jimmy McGinty (Washington Sentinels)

The Replacements

McGinty has spend the entirety of his coaching career in the pros, and coming to the college game can sometimes be a rocky transition. But the job he did in cobbling together a championship-caliber roster in the midst of the players’ strike gives hope that he could do some serious damage in the transfer portal. Not to mention that fedora game is on point.

2. Hayden Fox (Orlando Breakers)

Coach

Coach Fox couldn’t resist the bright lights of the pros, but like many coaches before him, it seems like only a matter of time before he returns to the college ranks. He spent seven seasons at Minnesota State, culminating in their 1993 national championship. His personable nature made him beloved by Screaming Eagles fans, and I have little doubt he could do the same in College Station.

1. Marty Daniels (Blue Mountain State)

Blue Mountain State

You thought Jimbo Fisher winning one national title before arriving here was impressive? Well Daniels brings a whopping SIX that he won at Blue Mountain State. Even if he is a bit more abrasive than Aggie fans are used to, that kind of track record speaks for itself. If you can pry him away from the Mountain Goats, this a slam dunk hire.