Entire bag of footballs transfers from Texas A&M

Editor’s Note: This is a satire article not to be taken seriously. To our knowledge, all of the footballs are fully locked in and committed to the Texas A&M program.

Texas A&M has had it’s share of transfer portal entries in recent days, but this latest one hits the hardest. According a source close to the program, a bag of footballs (including the bag itself) has announced it’s plans to enter the transfer portal and leave Texas A&M.

While it is unconfirmed, rumor is that at least one of these balls was the one used against Mississippi State which caused consistently low snaps by center Bryce Foster.

“You bring in these balls from all across the country, you coach ‘em up and develop ‘em, and you hope that they get out there and execute,” is something definitely not said by Head Coach Jimbo Fisher. “But the transfer portal, that’s a part of ball now, you know what I mean? And I guess that extends even to the balls themselves now (forced chuckle).”

Luckily these balls were used sparingly in games in 2022, but many were seen as potential starters in future years. And as we all know, depth matters in college football a great deal. It’s unclear why these balls have opted to transfer, but many are pointing to a program in shambles following a 5-7 season, and it seems that disarray may even extend to the equipment room.

Obviously the Aggies will not be without any footballs next season. There are practice balls they can elevate to game balls, and they can order more balls online. But these departures represent a lot of wasted effort by this staff in ordering and conditioning these balls to be game-ready. No matter the quality of the ball, you want them to have sufficient time in your program to learn your system before you are counting on them to take actual snaps.

The key for A&M now is retaining the rest of it’s equipment. We are told that these footballs were particularly close with Moose Muhammad’s arm sleeves. Something to monitor.