BREAKING: Texas A&M mascot Reveille suspended indefinitely

The Texas A&M football team is now 3-4 on the season and 1-3 in SEC play, and news about the program seems to be getting worse by the day. But we may have reached a new low this morning. According to sources, Aggie mascot Reveille X has been suspended indefinitely following a violation of team rules. While unconfirmed, the rumor is that that Miss Rev urinated on the floor of Head Coach Jimbo Fisher’s office.

“Rev knows she made a mistake, but we’re working through it. She’s a good girl,” Fisher said. “We just have to execute better. She’s gotta go outside better and we’ve gotta coach her better.”

Reveille was a member of the 2019 recruiting class, and appeared at every game for the Aggies over the past four seasons. Given her leadership role as the highest-ranking member of the Texas A&M Corps of Cadets, this outburst is particularly disappointing.

The first Lady of Aggieland will continue her official university duties, but is banned from the Bright Football Complex as well as Kyle Field. It’s unclear who, if anyone, will take her place on the sidelines this Saturday, but it’s good to know we have options.