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Top 10 Haynes King nickname options

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And we’re here to force one upon him

NCAA Football: Texas A&M at Alabama The Tuscaloosa News-USA TODAY Sports

Texas A&M head coach Jimbo Fisher announced on Wednesday that redshirt freshman Haynes King will be the Aggies starting quarterback to begin the 2021 season. With the QB battle now decided, there’s only one logical next step.

WE GOTTA SHOEHORN A NICKNAME FOR THIS KID!

Now some might say that nicknames should happen organically or not at all, that they should be based on the athlete’s on-field play or persona. I say those people suffer from a shocking lack of creativity/boredom. So I came up with a few Haynes King nicknames. Let’s see which one sticks.

  • Once and Future King: Who doesn’t love literary references in college football?
  • Long Arm of Longview: Lobo fans would love it, I’m sure.
  • The Piney Woods Prodigy: folksy af
  • Haynes “Smoothie” King: The NIL opportunities are endless (well actually with this one they’d be very specific)
  • King of the Hill: We are in Texas, after all.
  • Haynes the Brains: This one is particularly reliant on him making smart decisions with the football but I’m just saying the rhyme is out there.
  • Move the Chain Haynes: Once again reliant upon actually moving the chains.
  • H.K. Rolling: College football needs more Harry Potter tie-ins if you ask me.
  • ‘House it’ Haynes: With his breakaway speed, this one could become relevant.
  • Beefy T: With a name like Haynes (Hanes), you knew this was coming. It’s my personal favorite, and much like “Smoothie” King, opens up a big NIL opportunity. I’m just sad we couldn’t get to hear Dave South scream “BEEFY T INTO THE ENDZONE! TOUCHDOWN!”
  • Haynesy Football: #laziness

Poll

Which nickname should we adopt for Haynes King?

This poll is closed

  • 2%
    Once and Future King
    (56 votes)
  • 10%
    Long Arm of Longview
    (262 votes)
  • 4%
    The Piney Woods Prodigy
    (117 votes)
  • 12%
    Haynes "Smoothie" King
    (297 votes)
  • 11%
    King of the Hill
    (269 votes)
  • 0%
    Haynes the Brains
    (7 votes)
  • 8%
    Move the Chains Haynes
    (204 votes)
  • 2%
    H.K. Rolling
    (50 votes)
  • 1%
    "House it" Haynes
    (40 votes)
  • 6%
    Beefy T
    (152 votes)
  • 1%
    Haynesy Football
    (28 votes)
  • 38%
    These are all terrible
    (936 votes)
2418 votes total Vote Now