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Dubious Predictions Made by Jimbos of History

In early May, Texas A&M head coach Jimbo Fisher took a lighthearted jab at Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban as the Aggie skipper was speaking at the Houston Touchdown Club. The club bills itself as a non-denominational civic organization. When Fisher was asked what it would take for the Aggies to beat the University of Alabama on the gridiron, other than the retirement of the 69-year-old Saban, he reportedly told the audience:

"We're going to beat his ass when he's there, don’t worry."

The audience erupted in laughter. Then he went on to say how much he respects Saban.

But the prophecy caused more than one student of history to reflect on famous boasts by personages named Jimbo since the Enlightenment.

Here are a few that come to mind:

"When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and the mathematics, the grandfathers of Blair and Little Bush were scratching around in caves. God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the Iraqis."

--Ahmad "Baghdad Jimbo" Saeed al-Sahaf, brother of Iraqi Media and Foreign Affairs Minister Mohammed "Baghdad Bob" Saeed al-Sahaf, on the eve of the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.

"I’m calling this new music ‘Rock n’ Wiggle’!"

--Disc jockey Jimbo Freed, brother of DJ Alan Freed, on a new type of music combining gospel, blues, jazz, boogie woogie and country.

"Television won’t last because people will soon tire of staring at a small box every night."

--Jimbo Zanuck, stepbrother of Hollywood studio boss Darryl Zanuck.

"E=MC3"

--Jimbo Einstein, cousin of physicist Albert Einstein.

"Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia."

--Dr. Jimbo Larder, brother of Dr. Dionysys Larder, Professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College of London.

"How does a ship sail by lighting a bonfire under her deck. I pray you, excuse me, I have not the time to listen to such nonsense."

--Jimbo Bonaparte, stepbrother of Napoleon Bonaparte, when told of Robert Fulton’s steamboat.

"They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance."

--Union General Jimbo Sedgwick at the Battle of Spotsylvania, moments before being struck in the head by a sharpshooter’s bullet.

"The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these ‘iron coaches’ is absurd. It is little short of treasonous."

--Field Marshal Jimbo Haig in 1916 at a tank demonstration.

"It will make war impossible."

--Jimbo Maxim, brother of Hiram Maxim, inventor of the machine gun.

"The Second Day of July 1776 will be the most memorable date in the History of America … I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding generations, as the great Anniversary Festival."

--Founding Father Jimbo Adams

After the event at the Houston Touchdown Club, coach Fisher was seen with an arm over the shoulder of Texas A&M defensive tackle Jayden Peevy. According to reports, Fisher was loudly disparaging electrification of the nation’s cities, calling alternating current "overrated."

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