Texas A&M announced on Thursday that a statue of Reveille will be the next to join the army of statues that now
wait to be summoned to rise up against us adorn the exterior of Kyle Field. But the real story is the size of the statue. According to sources inside an organization, the Reveille statue will reportedly be large enough so that it can see into stadium and watch the Aggies play.
This rights an egregious wrong that has persisted for more than two decades, when the construction of the north end zone structure blocked the view of the field that the former Reveille’s graves had of the playing field. Prior to it’s construction in the late ‘90s, a tunnel in the single-deck horseshoe structure allowed the former A&M mascots to watch their beloved team play.
It’s no surprise that since the north end zone structure fully opened in 1999, the Aggies have not won a single conference title.
“Texas A&M is excited not only that our Aggies can finally escape the curse bestowed upon our football program by our deceased collie mascots, but that MegaRev will now be the tallest statue in Texas, more than doubling the size of that stupid giraffe at the Dallas Zoo and the Sam Houston statue in Huntsville,” Texas A&M System Chancellor John Sharpe didn’t say, but probably wishes he had. “The Eyes of Texas may not be upon our friends in Austin much longer, but the eyes of MegaRev will be on the Aggies for generations to come.”
It’s unclear how A&M was able to fund such a massive project in the middle of a pandemic or whether the Reveille statue will be required to wear a face covering.