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ALL CAPS PREVIEW-RIVALRY!

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TIME TO TAKE DOWN THOSE BASTARDS FROM SOUTH CAROLINA

NCAA Football: Texas A&M at Missouri Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

JAMES EARL RUDDER IS FAMOUS FOR ALL THE THINGS HE DID AT A&M. THE THING THAT MOST PEOPLE DONT KNOW IS THAT AS HE STEERED A&M INTO THE PATHWAY OF BECOMING A TOP TIER UNIVERSITY, HE DID SO WITH ANIMUS AND HATRED IN HIS HEART FOR THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA.

THE RIVALRY WITH THOSE BASTARD GAMECOCKS DATES BACK TO A&M’S FOUNDING, WHERE THE BACK END OF GUION HALL, AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS THE ASS END OF A&M, WAS BUILT INTENTIONALLY FACING COLUMBIA BECAUSE WE HATE THEM SO AND THEY CAN KISS OUR ASS.

SIMILARLY WHEN OLD MAIN BURNT DOWN IN 1912 THE OFFICIAL REPORT WAS THAT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, BUT IN OUR HEART WE KNOW THAT THOSE BASTARDS FROM SOUTH CAROLINA WERE BEHIND IT. ARSON IS WELL WITHIN THEIR CHARACTER.

SO WHEN IN 2014 OR WHATEVER THE SEC ASSIGNED US OUR CROSS DIVISION RIVAL, EVERY SINGLE AGGIE SAID FINALLY...WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE OUT ALL THE FRUSTRATIONS THAT WE’VE BARRELLED UP INSIDE OF US AGAINST THOSE BASTARDS FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.

THIS GAME IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE YEAR. DOESNT MATTER IF WE GO WINLESS AS LONG AS WE WIN THE HELENA BONHAM CARTER TROPHY WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY A THING AND WASNT JUST CREATED A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. THIS ABSOLUTELY REAL AND NOT AT ALL CONSTRUCTED RIVALRY GOES BACK GENERATIONS, AND I MEAN THAT BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN ON THE MONDAY BEFORE THE GAME IN 2015 AND MY WIFE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME IN THE HOSPITAL HOLDING MY NEWBOWN WHILE SCROLLING TWITTER TO FIND OUT WHETHER KYLE OR KYLE WAS GOING TO START SO THAT’S AT LEAST ONE GENERATION OF PEOPLE.

AND WHILE WE’RE AT IT LET’S TALK ABOUT THE STARS THAT WERE FORGED FROM THE FIRE OF THIS GAME. WHO CAN FORGET KENNETH TRILL’S PERFORMANCE IN THE VERY FIRST GAME TELEVISED ON THE SEC NETWORK. KENNETH WOULD GO ON TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL CAREER AT A&M AND WIN MULTIPLE HEISMANS DONT FACT CHECK THIS.

SIMILARLY WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT #QBU LET’S TALK ABOUT KYLER MURRAY...NFL SUPERSTAR, GETTING HIS FIRST EVER COLLEGE START AGAINST THOSE BASTARDS FROM SOUTH CAROLINA. PEOPLE MADE FUN OF US BECAUSE WORE GLOW-IN-THE-DARK UNIFORMS FOR AN 11 AM GAME WHEN REALLY WE WERE WEARING BLACK.

FOR THE FUNERAL

OF THE GAMECOCKS

BECAUSE RIVALRY

THIS GAME MEANS EVERYTHING TO EVERY AGGIE. THERE’S THE 12TH MAN THERE’S SILVER TAPS THERES MUSTER AND THEN THERES THE TRACY BONHAM/BONHAM ELEMENTARY IN BRYAN TEXAS CUP/TROPHY/PLAQUE THING.

AND WHO CAN FORGET THE LONG LEGACY OF GAMECOCK JOKES WE LOVE TO TELL EACH OTHER AROUND THE DINNER TABLE

HOW DO YOU CONFUSE A GAMECOCK?

GIVE THEM UNCLEAR DIRECTIONS

HOW MANY GAMECOCKS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?

PROBABLY 1.

TWO GAMECOCKS WALK INTO A BAR. THE THIRD ONE JOINS THEM AND THEY ENJOY A NICE AFTERNOON

HA GOT EM

SO GIRD YOUR LOINS AGS. HUG YOUR LOVED ONES BECAUSE WE’RE GOING INTO A BATTLE FOR THE BONE HAM CUP. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE YEAR. THIS IS THE GAME THAT JOHN SHARP HIRED JIMBO TO WIN. THIS IS WHY WE ALL EXIST. IT’S NOT AT ALL MADE UP AND ITS A REAL REAL LEVEL OF HATRED.

TIME TO

BEAT THE

EVERLIVING

EVERLOVING

COMPOUND

COMPLEX

FIGHTIN TEXAS AGGIE CLASS OF 2001

HELL OUTTA

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