/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/67287497/1213131324.jpg.0.jpg)
HOWDY football fans. The top 25 polls are bouncing around, and this year they’re even more completely useless than normal. Nonetheless, we’ve reached out to one of the Internet’s chief oracles (just searched for some tweets actually) to round out this latest batch of madness.
TOP 25 NOTES BY @dril
1. Clemson (38)
im the reddit guy hwo ranted about an existential crisis i had after realizing all of jeff foxworthys "you might be a redneck" jokes were me
— wint (@dril) April 3, 2015
2. Ohio State (21)
yea i torched the dennys. and i woudlve gotten away with it, if i werent the only guy in town with a custom jersey that says "My Wife" on it
— wint (@dril) September 24, 2016
3. Alabama (2)
dont trust the dna tests. i determine my ancestry by looking at a bunch of racist cartoon characters to see which ones piss me off the most
— wint (@dril) April 24, 2018
4. Georgia
Q: What is your Passion Sport?
— wint (@dril) January 30, 2014
A: My Passion Sport is football and golf
5. Oklahoma
doctor: i can say with absolute certainty that if you do one more weird trick youll die
— wint (@dril) February 16, 2015
me: CAPTAIN TIGER's Miracle Corn. LOok it up bastard
6. LSU (1)
trying desperately to come up with a name for my new cajun styled recipe that isnt racist and just fucking up constantly in the worst ways
— wint (@dril) January 29, 2017
7. Penn State
measure to approve massive depressing statue in the center of town depicting an emaciated mayor carrying a boulder that says "My Sons" on it
— wint (@dril) September 26, 2014
8. Florida
FOR SALE: One Beekeeper's Uniform With "METH GOD" embroidered into back, Lightly Used (856) 625-3325 - Ask For Officer Jim
— wint (@dril) October 10, 2011
9. Oregon
I Want The Duck Dynasty Boys To Crucify Me Upside-Down And Piss On Me Violently. I Want The Duck Dynasty Boys To Block My Useless Account
— wint (@dril) December 18, 2013
10. Notre Dame
Jesus christ. I;m so god damn sorry. This is so fucked up. It's a living nightmare. I am literally shaking. I have never felt such pain
— wint (@dril) February 7, 2014
11. Auburn
i feel truly blessed ,knowing that everyone who has spoken ill of my brand is eating bugs in a cold prison cell.
— wint (@dril) November 12, 2015
12. Wisconsin
an adult version of Chuck E Cheese type places where you pay someone to shout the "N-WORD" directly into your face so you can feel something
— wint (@dril) September 16, 2019
13. Texas A&M
just a little casual assplay at the farmer's market
— wint (@dril) November 9, 2013
14. Texas
struting around in my stepson cowboy hat looking for an ass kicking
— wint (@dril) August 27, 2018
15. Oklahoma State
i dont respect the cowboy life style any more and if you are doing cowboy shit you might as well be wearing a clowns outfit
— wint (@dril) May 15, 2020
16. Michigan
been completely ruined due to iron deficiency and Arrogance. had to scrap the project and start from scratch. Looking for investors
— wint (@dril) June 23, 2016
17. USC
oh forgive me for forgetting that youre too good to visit my squalid LA apartment to watch all 9 seasons of the abc sitcom "coach" as a joke
— wint (@dril) March 23, 2019
18. North Carolina
accidentally printing out 20 ascii wayne gretzky nudes on the really loud printer in the school's computer lab #90sHell #DecadeOfTorment
— wint (@dril) October 18, 2013
19. Minnesota
full investigation: bring me the man who threw a dildo on stage during my TEd talk. also the men who encouraged him by hooting and whistling
— wint (@dril) March 11, 2013
20. Cincinnati
i just left an enormous pile of vomit behind golds gym for all of you abominable pig clowns to pick at #blackfridaydeals
— wint (@dril) November 28, 2014
21. UCF
i am looking forward to some god damn serious male grooming discussion when everybody runs out of jokes around 2015 or so
— wint (@dril) December 20, 2013
22. Utah
@HVranch My Dog loves it when I slop some Hidden Valley Ranch into his bowl, He cant get enough of the stuff. - Denny From Utah
— wint (@dril) July 16, 2012
23. Iowa State
i got a big wet piece of corn and the cob in my bindle and i cant wait to run it over with my truck after im done chewing on it
— wint (@dril) July 15, 2014
24. Iowa
eaitng a raw piece of corn in my car and spitting like 95% of it right back out
— wint (@dril) December 8, 2018
25. Tennessee
RATIONALIZE YOUR FILTH ONLINE, SCROUNGE THE WEB FOR EMOTION, LOG OFF ANGRY AND GO TO BED SAD
— wint (@dril) July 22, 2012