HOWDY. This is a good time to remind you that THERE ARE NOT TOO MANY BOWL GAMES. Here we are limping through a few rugged workdays after the end of the holidays. The only reward at the end of them? Some fun-ass bowl games to watch. Here’s your slate for Friday, Saturday, and Monday.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl | Nevada vs. Ohio | 2:30 p.m. Friday | ESPN
November 1997: the Spice Girls had just dropped Spiceworld. Seinfeld and Friends were dominating the tellie ratings. Starship Troopers was smashing into box offices nationwide. And Nevada notched their most recent victory on the blue turf. This includes two Famous Idaho Potato Bowl losses and over two decades’ worth of conference tilts with Boise State.
What was Ohio coach Frank Solich doing in 1997? Oh, just helping Nebraska lay waste to the entirety of college football immediately before taking over the reins of the program. One of those victims was Iowa State, obliterated to the tune of 77-14 en route to a 1-10 finish. The Cyclones’ QB coach that season? Current Nevada HC Jay Norvell.
Sorry, Wolfpack. I don’t think your curséd smurf turf losing streak is gonna end this time around.
Armed Forces Bowl | Southern Miss vs. Tulane | 10:30 a.m. Saturday | ESPN
Hey, hey lookie here. A couple of bowl teams with some history between them. Turns out these two used to meet up during their Conference USA days together, and formed what’s known as “The Battle for the Bell” rivalry. As you are aware by now, we here at GBH are big believers in rivalries and their importance within this sport. So it’s nice to see a bowl game embrace that when choosing two teams to match together. These two have met 30 times previously dating back to 1979, however the “Battle for the Bell” moniker didn’t show up until 1999 when someone introduced a bell as the trophy for the game. This sounds like some Bonham Trophy bullshit to me. This rivalry needs a real name, not some contrived ass name. Here are a few suggestions for these two fine schools down south:
- The Fuckin’ Fight of I-59 (most obvious choice, but difficult to say after a 4 New Orleans hand grenades)
- The Pearl River Punchout (everyone loves a little geography in a rivalry name)
- Loser Has to Vacation in Biloxi Bowl (let’s really ramp up the stakes on this thing)
- The Ol’ C-USA Clusterfuck (not as applicable since Tulane took the leap for the AAC)
- Soggy Bottom Bowl (yeah, let’s go with it)
Lending Tree Bowl | Louisiana (like the state?) vs Miami (the one in Ohio) | 6:30 pm | ESPN
We made it gang. All the way to the last regular bowl game. After tonight, all that will be left of the 2019 college football season is the title match between the Tigers and the Tiguh’s. The off season is standing at the front gate, with his hand on a scythe. Is he here for us? Hopefully not. Maybe he’s just finally going to put an end to Dr Pepper’s Fansville. Or that bitch screaming at her friend about using a cocktail stick. Man, I really hate her. No matter what, enjoy the hell out of the next seven days.
For tonight, we’re served up a nice meal of Monday Night #MACtion sprinkled with a dose of #FunBelt. In a game played in Mobile, aka the “Beaumont of Alabama”. And before you try to shit on this game, this is the MAC Champ vs the SunBelt runner up. I’ve bet on plenty of college football games that are infinitely more terrible than this match up. Remember, college football is fun.