Fan Misery Ladder 19.1: Rocky Bottom

Welcome to the Fan Misery Ladder, where sometimes you Volunteer and sometimes you’re Voluntold that your program is in the deepest shitter imaginable. If you are unfamiliar with the #FML you can read about the rules here in Week Zero.

I had to double-check that Georgia State is, in fact, an FBS team because I was certain that they were a very good 5A school. Combine this loss with Florida State’s opening sleepwalk against Boise State and the season has opened with two very strong arguments for changing our rules to account for G5 losses. Once upon a time, during the “BCS buster” glory days of Boise State-OU and TCU-Wisconsin, losing to a G5 team wasn’t necessarily a sign of abject failure. Today, though...

The first Team of the Week for 2019 did not actually drop in the Ladder. Still, something tells me they’ll be singing Rocky Bottom at Neyland eventually this season. Let’s put the G5 rule up for discussion in the comments. In the meantime, here’s the big board:

MISERY OF NOTE

• Colorado vs. Colorado State, Miami vs. Florida, The Holy War, and the Battle of the Carolinas. 44% of the movement in the FML this week was the result of non-conference rivalry games. Rivalries are what makes this sport great.

• The SEC was gleefully dismantled on social media on Saturday, but credit where it’s due as Auburn was the only team to take down a team ranked higher than them. Oregon gets to enjoy a week in Level Four for their trouble, but I trust that’s as close as they’ll get to reclaiming Taggart this season.
• Northern Iowa took #21 Iowa State to triple overtime on Saturday. In that third OT ISU put the ball on the ground on the 1 yard line, and in the ensuing scrum ISU was ruled to have recovered the football. The play was reviewed, and in that moment there was the glimmer of hope that we would see the first week one double-drop of the #FML’s brief tenure. Sadly, instead of a ranked team opening with a triple-overtime loss to an FCS team, the call was confirmed and ISU scored a touchdown the next play to win the game.

I believe in you, Cyclones. We’ll get ‘em next year.

LOOKING AHEAD

• Texas A&M opened as 16.5 dogs to Clemson, which means that Vegas thinks the score will be a lot closer to the Ags taking a 21 point loss than the Ags beating a higher ranked team. Be forewarned.
• Teams like Bama and Clemson use the 21 point beatdown rule to hit the First Level as quickly as possible. Colorado (winner’s of last year’s SixSixSix Flags Award for the highest highs and lowest lows) has chosen the clever route of opening with back-to-back rivalry games. If they beat Nebraska next week they could hit the First Level before following their scheduled ballistic trajectory back. Just like last year.