As first reported on Twitter, the Aggie QB has certainly packed on the pounds since Spring Practice wrapped up.
The normally svelte and soft-spoken playcaller amazed teammates with his newfound slab-of-beef physique Monday as he rolled through campus on a Segway scooter toting a wagonload of contraband Whataburgers, an homage to the fast food corporation’s recent announcement that it’s about to go nationwide.
“Enjoy them while they still have that distinct Texas flavor,” he announced through a mouthful of fries as he frantically slung the warm and delicious-smelling yellow-wrapped burgers to his eager teammates. “Before long, they’ll be flying scabs down from Chicago to work in your favorite local Whataburger, slowly eroding the time-tested recipes we’ve all grown to love.”
Mond, a junior from San Antonio (home of Whataburger’s corporate headquarters) continued to take all the reps with the first team offense, despite his substantial bulk and dangerously-high cholesterol. He remains surprisingly nimble on his feet, and has even gained a touch of physicality in the running game.
Coach Jimbo Fisher could not be reached for comment, as he is currently out in the field procuring more beef for his thicc & hearty QB.