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HOWDY, Internet.
It is the season of #content and the mines are slowly running dry, leaving us desperate for material to recycle and cobble into any form of semi-digestible filler. So here are all fourteen teams in the Southeastern Conference as represented by one of Twitter’s thought leaders.
(Thanks to this thread for the idea and of course to wint himself.)
Texas A&M
its true. each cow's udder has one teat that will shoot piss instead of milk and ruin the whole batch. they call it the Farmer's Gamble
— wint (@dril) November 19, 2013
Alabama
fuck mad people. anger is a disgusting emotion. sick of having my account flagged by people who dont understand The Process
— wint (@dril) January 9, 2013
LSU
trying desperately to come up with a name for my new cajun styled recipe that isnt racist and just fucking up constantly in the worst ways
— wint (@dril) January 29, 2017
Arkansas
it is unfair that i should have to go to hell just because i was born with a pigs brain
— wint (@dril) February 18, 2014
Florida
Not. All. Of. The. Wet. Spots. On. My. Jeans. Are. Piss. Stians.
— wint (@dril) September 5, 2018
Ole Miss
summoner draws a venn diagram on the floor with circles labeled "rude" & "illegal". my fat face emerges from the center and begs for treats
— wint (@dril) May 7, 2013
Mississippi State
please wellcome Irony Cowbell to the world, my beautiful newborn daughter who will be named that forever
— wint (@dril) May 22, 2014
Auburn
i feel truly blessed ,knowing that everyone who has spoken ill of my brand is eating bugs in a cold prison cell.
— wint (@dril) November 12, 2015
Tennessee
just as Christ washed the feet of his disciples , i proudly volunteer to allow my girl followers to use my shirt as a napkin,.
— wint (@dril) July 26, 2016
Mizzou
doctor: i can say with absolute certainty that if you do one more weird trick youll die
— wint (@dril) February 16, 2015
me: CAPTAIN TIGER's Miracle Corn. LOok it up bastard
Vandy
for every year that He is not featured in Forbes Magazine as the worlds richest man... GOD will sink one of our battle ships
— wint (@dril) July 30, 2016
UGA
back in the dog house after the wife caught me photo shopping her into vintage car ads
— wint (@dril) May 29, 2016
South Carolina
buying some golf cleats? bet U high society FUCKS like to step on each others COCKS with these. i own this foot locker. your'e a child here.
— wint (@dril) March 5, 2013
Kentucky
as torrents of horse piss splatter clamorously onto my forehead I scream in absolute torment but make no attempt to move or cover my face
— wint (@dril) June 4, 2014