Hi, all. Sorry we stumbled through Saturday’s action without any proper previews. We were simply basking in the afterglow of the Texas Bowl so surely you’ll forgive us. It’s Monday now, so we’re back to work.
SERVPRO Bowl | Western Michigan vs. Western Kentucky | 11:30 a.m. | ESPN
It’s not often that the fates align and give us a bowl matchup between directional schools with the same cardinal direction. This one’s a good ol’ fashioned Western hoedown. Who’s got the edge, you may ask? Simply utilize this handy crib sheet:
slight edge to the Mustangs
not even close: Hilltoppers
WMU: Tim Lester (played college ball for head coach Gary Darnell)
WKU: Tyson Helton (younger brother of USC head coach Clay Helton)
PUSH: equally mediocre pedigrees
WMU can score points!
WKU can play defense!
MOST FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD ALUM
WMU: Tim Allen, Terry Crews, Bruce Campbell
WKU: John Carpenter
WMU has Santa Clause 2, Old Spice commercials, and Evil Dead covered. WKU has the rest of the horror genre.
Overall, we’ve got a slight lean towards the Broncos here. But if there’s one figure in college football one can never count out, it’s everyone’s favorite muppet. MAC-C-USA football is exactly what you didn’t realize you needed before noon on a Monday.
Music City Bowl | Louisville vs. Mississippi State | 3 p.m. | ESPN
If I’d have told you two weeks ago that one of these teams would be without its starting quarterback because he talked shit to one of his own linebackers and got the hell punched out of his eye socket, you’d say, “oh that sounds par for the course for Louisville.”
Oh, my friends...’twas the Bulldogs. Not to worry, Coach Joe Moorhead aka Bore Head has everything under control:
“It was a team matter. It was handled. Garrett is here. He’s at practice. I just saw him out in the hall eating a bag of licorice. Things are going good.”
Watch this if you somehow get bored with Cal-Illinois. This game is the licorice treat of the college football candy bowl.
Red Box Bowl | Cal vs Illinois | 3:00 pm | FOX
Close your eyes. It’s the middle of August. The sweltering heat of a Texas summer has beaten you into submission. Everything is baked to a crisp including your sports psyche. But there are dreams in the depths of your mind. College football is lurking. You can see it, almost feel it. Major bowl games in late December. Two teams that have sacrificed everything to make it to this point. You can hear the bands. The fans living and dying with every big play. The shifts in momentum in a huge game like this can be felt in your heart.
Now...imagine it’s Cal vs Illinois.
Orange Bowl | Florida vs. Virginia | 7 p.m. | ESPN
It’s difficult to imagine a greater discrepancy than Florida Man vs. Virginia Man. The Netflix series Bloodline managed to capture the essence of this struggle in the following scene. (HINT: the dude with the tie ain’t Florida Man.)