Welcome back to the Fan Misery Ladder, where life has finally caught up to the Aggies.
Rivalry week delivered. Even with so many teams min-maxed at Tiers One and Nine, we still had more movement this week than any other this year. Add in some last minute bowl ineligibility and we saw an unprecedented twelve double-drops. That’s a dirty dozen teams whose fans saw the writing on the wall that not only was this not the year, next year probably won’t be either.
None of those twelve had quite the same weekend of disappointment as Minnesota. Goldie’s loyalists saw their charmed season felled neatly with one swipe of Paul Bunyan’s Axe. Losing to a lower-ranked rival is one thing, but to do so by exactly 21 points is kismet. You were a Power Five team with BCS buster energy, Gophers, and your reward is to spend the holidays in Florida with the other snowbirds who took their shot and missed.
Let’s take a look at the big board.
MISERY OF NOTE
MAYBE SOME NICE SEVEN LOSS DIP #17 Iowa beating a downtrodden Nebraska unit is fairly unremarkable, but the Hawkeyes also shoveled the last dirt on the rival Huskers’ bowl hopes. I’m sure they brought over a nice hot dish, though.
ARRRRRN BOWL Alabama spent most of the season in the First Tier and will spend bowl season back where they started. College football fanship is hell. That said, if we die and there is a college football heaven, it is non-Alabama fans watching the Tide line up for kicks with the game on the line.
THE EGG LOL SEND TWEET There are no more words that can be said about the funniest that a rivalry game has ever ended. If you missed the Egg Bowl you were miserable before you ever crossed our threshold. Drink in that replay like the finest fermented dog urine.
It’s bowl season, so we’ll see each other again after the national championship. Don’t worry, I’ll miss y’all too. Just remember: no matter what happens, it’s definitely not as good as you think.
FML 19.13: Dead Inside
FML 19.12: This is Sparty
FML 19.11: Take Me Home
FML 19.10: S-E-C! S-E-C!
FML 19.9: Onward to Misery
FML 19.8: We Are The Aggies, The Aggies Are We
FML 19.7: Commodore Days and Scarlet Knights
FML 19.6: Shell Shock Jayhawk
FML 19.5: Ramblin’ Wrecks
FML 19.4: Not All Tears Are Blood
FML 19.3: This Means Something
FML 19.2: The Pac Delivers
FML 19.1: Rocky Bottom
FML 19.0: Preseason