The original title of this playlist was going to be Cocks and Balls, a rivalry for the ages. While this still makes me giggle, I am better than that. Actually, I am not at all I am probably well below that line of jokes, but my mom might read this so I don’t want to have a five hundred plus word think piece all about dick jokes.
But please buy my book under my pen name Stanley Renderos, Jr. (Señor Gran Polla was already taken in the writers guild.)
So since I am trying to be a better person, what better topic to write about than South Carolina’s most storied tradition,
not keeping horses in bathtubs ?
Yes, this week we are running down a top five list of best professional wrestling rivalries. This is why you come to a Texas A&M football website article, that writes about vaguely Aggie/opponent adjacent stories and attempts to tie them to a weekly playlist!
I am un-apologetically a child of the WWF(E) Attitude Era, and my Monday nights always involved Monday Night Raw, so just indulge me and we will get to something more relevant next week when we play Georgia. Here we go!
5. La Parka and Macho Man Randy Savage
This is not really a rivalry I just added this here for two reason. One, Randy Savage put out a battle rap album in 2005 calling out a bunch of wrestlers, it’s on Spotify check it out, it is bananas. Two, so I could insert this gif
4. The Undertaker and Mankind
Seriously this rivalry was insane. Hell in the Cell is still maybe the most incredible match I have ever seen. Wrestling is scripted, but this was anything but fake.
3. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper
Some great matches, but the beginning of the rivalry kicked off WWF’s first major run at nationwide entertainment, it created Hulkmania. Still taking my vitamins and saying my prayers.
2. Ric Flair and Sting
These two were the cornerstones of the WCW, WWF’s only competition. Monday Night Nitro’s first and last episode were headlined by Nature Boy and Sting. No one could cut a promo like Flair.
1. Stone Cold Steve Austin And The Rock
Two of the best to ever do it and the two men who carried the organization for years. The Rock is the biggest star in the world right now and Stone Cold is well...
I’m sure there will be dissension throughout the loyal readership of this column, so please add some discord in the comments. We are in the home stretch of the season and then we can go back/continue our dick measuring contest against the horns on Twitter. Shit, I made it through the entire article without one phallus reference. I still count that as a win.
I hope everyone has been enjoying the cooler temperatures that make it really feel like football weather. Three, really four, games left in this season. Cherish every single one. Have fun, be safe and BTHO south carolina!