Hello, my name is cuppycup and I am a doctor. Unfortunately, the fascists won’t allow me to write prescriptions so I have to live out fantasies like you see below on social media. This general idea comes from a ridiculous beauty Instagram account, and ABKitch suggested I make an Aggie version. He hasn’t tweeted since the mentions started rolling in so I hope he’s okay.
These are the 9 pills I presented, and I spent about 1 minute thinking of these, but the exercise ended up creating some mildly amusing conversation which is a big win for a blog.
Twitter results of 184 responses, by frequency
75 votes (41%), Pill 1: Johnny Manziel plays 4 years at A&M
56 votes (30%), Pill 7: Saban retires
55 votes (30%), Pill 8: A&M and Texas renew annual rivalry
35 votes (19%), Pill 5: A&M and Texas never play again
35 votes (19%), Pill 2: A&M beats Texas in 2011
34 votes (18%), Pill 3: College Station gets Waffle House
26 votes (14%), Pill 4: A&M skips Fran era
14 votes (8%), Pill 6: You get free root beer floats at Kyle Field
6 votes (3%), Pill 9: A&M to SEC East
Facebook results of 278 responses, by frequency
92 votes (33%), Pill 5: A&M and Texas never play again
84 votes (30%), Pill 1: Johnny Manziel plays 4 years at A&M
77 votes (28%), Pill 7: Saban retires
74 votes (27%), Pill 2: A&M beats Texas in 2011
69 votes (25%), Pill 8: A&M and Texas renew annual rivalry
51 votes (18%), Pill 4: A&M skips Fran era
33 votes (12%), Pill 9: A&M to SEC East
26 votes (9%), Pill 3: College Station gets Waffle House
14 votes (5%), Pill 6: You get free root beer floats at Kyle Field
The most noteworthy difference between Twitter and Facebook is the desire (or lack thereof) to play Texas in football again. I did not double-count votes for people who said they would take two of the same pill, and many Facebookers wanted two #5s. Special attention to the people who took both #5 and #8, opting to renew the rivalry and have the world end in a fiery hellstorm before it could be played.
Leave a comment below with your selection or different pills I should have included.