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Apparently not!

EPA Chief Scott Pruitt Moves To Repeal Clean Power Plan
Photo by George Frey/Getty Images

OH DEAR. A recruiting article has finally gone TOO FAR and officially CROSSED THE LINE, folks.

I know what you’re thinking: “Doc, you have directed us to the intersection of Crooting Twitter and Reaction GIF Twitter, what the fuck’s wrong with you?”

And I’m sorry, but we’re less than a month deep into the offseason, fishtailing into February, and all bets are off. The indignation circus is in full effect here. Let’s look to the industry leaders for guidance, shall we? Why should we be outraged?

Wait a minute, didn’t you guys make an entire movie about a guy who had never put on pads before at the collegiate level?

Wow, hard to believe it took so long, but a recruiting entity finally crossed the line and said negative things about recruits! It’s absolutely hilarious that this nonsense filler piece is the catalyst for such vitriol from the same people who self-seriously post arbitrary numerical ratings down to the thousandths decimal place about teenage boys, proclaim that a high schooler is going to be the salvation of an entire college football program, and engage in massively extensive online beefs with their mirror-image counterparts from other fanbases, all very often while actual college football games are happening live.

Very important to draw distinctions here: this piece didn’t harmlessly call the kids “studs” or engage in the astrological decoding of a series of whimsical emoji by gazing through the mystical Crystal Ball™. No, this article’s transgression was to take the faulty premise that recruiting is a sport to the next conceivable extreme: rating a player’s boom or bust potential, as if they were professional athletes instead of high schoolers. Better just to stick to the more conventional ways of measuring a young man’s worth: their shuttle times and GPAs.

The pearl-clutching here is mostly performance art, peppered with a bit of introspective regret that the various other industry outlets did not take this drastic step first. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, especially not in the cutthroat world of high school football player fawning.

Yes, this article is fine. It’s just another harmless fluff piece full of half-assed “analysis”, guesswork, fancy buzzword terminology, and smug self-satisfaction. In other words, it’s no different than any other recruiting article, except it’s not lurking behind a glorious paywall.