FMI Week 4: We Has A Sad

Welcome back to the Fan Misery Index! If you are unfamiliar with the premise, please read the original post here. Also as a reminder, here are the rules:

A TEAM’S FANS GO UP A LEVEL IF THEY…

• beat their rival
• put together a 3 game win streak
• put together a 5 game win streak
• are unranked and beat a ranked team
• are ranked and beat a team ranked higher than them
• beat a P5 team by 21 points or more
• make the College Football Playoff

A TEAM’S FANS GO DOWN A LEVEL IF THEY…

• lose to their rival
• put together a 3 game losing streak
• put together a 5 game losing streak
• are ranked and lose to an unranked team
• lose to any FCS opponent
• lose any game by 21 points or more
• fail to become bowl eligible

Aggies, I’m afraid our time finally came. The good news is that we covered the Vegas spread. The bad news is that this ain’t Vegas, and as much as we might talk about moral victories no one is happy with losing by 22 points. Given that we have a new coach and a wood-chipper schedule, the Fourth Circle really isn’t that bad. At least we aren’t Rutgers.

Let’s take a look.

MISERY OF NOTE

• New Mexico State has stopped the bleeding! By applying a clotting agent like UTEP the Aggies have managed to stabilize their vital signs in the Seventh Circle. Meanwhile Rutgers’ 29 point pants-shitting to Buffalo puts them well in place to win this race to the bottom. Don’t sleep on Arkansas and Tennessee, though - neither have played Bama yet.
• Speaking of, if I were a more ambitious man with more than a moment of free time between toddler screaming sessions I would love to track the results of playing Bama on fan bases. How many 21 point losses will they deal out? How many win streaks snapped like chicken bones?
• Kliffy may have found some magic finally. The Red Raiders savaged Oklahoma State giving a ranked team a 24 point loss to an unranked team for a 4 level swing on the FMI. Listen, those fans live in Lubbock, OK? They need this.
• Looks like Mississippi State flew too close to the sun, and after enjoying just one week in the First Circle Kentucky dunked them right back to square one with a 21 point loss. If it were possible for college football fanship to make you actually happy (it isn’t) the Kentucky Wildcat fans would be in CIRCLE NEGATIVE ONE. Can you imagine this sport not causing you pain? Hahaha what a world that would be.