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FMI Week 2: The Aggies Are The Saddest

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No, the other Aggies

NCAA Football: New Mexico State at Minnesota Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to week two of the inaugural Fan Misery Index. If you just stumbled upon this, please go read the concept and rules for tracking the morbid depression that only college football fans can truly know. Just remember, the FMI is not about measuring how good a team is, it’s about measuring how much they hurt the people who love them.

The pack is beginning to spread out now, with (much to my delight) more fans spiraling downward than clawing their way out. We can expect a lot of movement next week as the first round of win/loss streak payouts hits. Until then let’s all just enjoy that Florida and Tennessee are sharing a table in the Fourth Circle.

not like this, Aggies

MISERY OF NOTE

  • We have a new leader! Doesn’t matter if we mean highest circle or highest level of misery, we got both. The Buckeyes have the honor of being the first team in FMI history to reach the First Circle of fan hell, which is to say about a close to not miserable as you can get without winning the natty (which they may well do). I didn’t expect anyone to hit this level quite so quickly, but the clever B1G schedulers set up an opportunity for OSU to hit back-to-back dismantlings of what are technically P5 schools, in the same sense that tomatoes are fruit.
  • Aggies are familiar with disappointment no matter what school they hail from it seems. The New Mexico State Aggies have the distinction of being the first school to hit the Fifth Circle of fan hell with back-to-back 21 point losses to open the season. I struggled with including the Aggies in this metric since they have much more of a G5 feel to them, but Notre Dame had to be in here and so the rest of the independents have been sucked into the dredge with them.
  • If you want to pretend that you’re not one of the thousands of Aggies who tuned in to the Florida State game Saturday night then I will pretend to update you: Florida State very nearly lost to a team that hasn’t beaten an FBS opponent since 1935. In the end they pulled out of the nosedive and skidded to a relatively safe stop with ACC paramedics standing by. This would have meant a shared podium in the Fifth Circle, but alas we’ll have to wait until next week.
  • How about that Florida Kentucky game?