HOWDY! If you’re really tired of the latest Twitter trend of reducing various things into 5-word summaries, you will absolutely loathe this post. If you’re not familiar with the trend, you are much more likely to lead a meaningful and productive life, so let us impede upon that for a few moments. It goes like this (no offence, cupster):

Then a few days later another theme pops up and makes the rounds. Fun!

Northwestern State

Let’s complain: Thursday night game

Clemson

#*($@ *&*$%&$*# Jimbo @#*(&$# Dabo

ULM

Turn the sun off, please

at Alabama

Welcome to Tuscaloosa, Mr. Fisher

Arkansas

Jerryworld Southwest Conference overtime drama

Kentucky

SEC: It Just Means More

at South Carolina

400 combined yards of offense

at Mississippi State

Weeping hologram of Dan Mullen

at Auburn

Jimbo crashes the Waffle House

Ole Miss

Rebel fans want Houston Nutt

UAB

November SEC cupcakes are toothsome

LSU

Annual Thanksgiving descent into madness